time to stir the waters a bit

i dont mean to come off as racist, or worse yet a republican, but i support proposition 2.

my problem is not with the "leveling of the playing field." in fact, i completely support that. but i think affirmative action cases need to be reviewed on a case-by-case basis. i understand that some social and economic factors place some minority students at a disadvantageous starting place, but of course affirmative action doesn't consider whites in the same position. furthermore, there's no reason that someone who is a child of a doctor, lawyer, or other professional, or who is not coming from a "hard" background who has had opportunity should get precedence over a more qualified student simply because of race. socioeconomic concerns should factor into admissions decisions, but race alone should not.

the main argument for affirmative action often stems from a poor economic upbringing. but proposition 2 doesn't say anything about economic considerations, but rather just race. i think those from a poor background should be given some extra consideration to level the playing field for them. they are the ones at a disadvantage. inner city schools suck. students dont always get the attention they deserve, and aren't recognized. true, may of these students are often not white, but their race isn't why they are at a disadvantage; it's their location, their socioeconomic status.

i think something is amiss when the son of a black doctor gets preference over a poor student whose parents didnt go to college simply because of race. if there are other factors involved, ok. but race should not be the be all and end all. i talked with dominique a bit and she brought up another good point. affirmative action hurts poor minorities too. the wealthier/better off minority students will look better on paper than their poorer counterparts because they've had more opportunities and, because they are minorities, will take spots away from those poorer minority students. these students have an advantage as they're vying against the people affirmative action is really trying to benefit.

i'm not denying that there's a definite disproportionality at many colleges and universities. but blanket stereotyping is never good. and to say that someone deserves something based on their race is just that.

i also like how the article casually mentions that the white woman they were interviewing was shopping at kohl's. what a cracker store.

--------------------------------

and now for something completely different to lighten the mood: i dont believe in karma, but stuff like this makes me want to.

COME ON lifetime

the lifetime network used to show "still standing" reruns from 12-1 in my area. today i turned it on while eating lunch and much to my dismay, "golden girls" was on. well congratulations lifetime, you've just alienated all of your non-gay male viewers.

technologically impotent

in an overt attempt to compensate for it's blatant lack of a dick, my school is trying to make everything more technology-based. this would be great if the technology didn't fuck up everyday. remind me again how it helps me when i can't access my assignments and other info i need?

candy is for kids and fat people

dominique and i were talking about halloween, and she mentioned how ridiculous it is when high schoolers go trick-or-treating. i agree.

that's not to say i didnt trick-or-treat in high school...ohhh, i did. i wanted free candy. i mean, come on! during my high school years i most often went as a bum, as it was an easy costume requiring little effort but giving me a large candy payoff. but that doesn't make it right. halloween festivities are clearly divided into three categories, each being completely age appropriate.

trick-or-treating is for kids. cute little kids are supposed to get all dressed up and impress neighbors in exchange for some candy. kids really love candy. the candy is mini sized, because kids are mini (though also probably because most people are cheap). also, many locales have curfews on trick-or-treating to protect kids from any violence or harm that might come their way.

october 30, also known as mischief night, is where the high schoolers come in. it's the night to tp trees, egg houses, and just engage in general debauchery. the reward for this isn't candy, but rather laughter and sometimes adrenaline.

finally, for college kids to adults there are parties and bar crawls. the rewards are cheap alcohol and generally the most creative and funny costumes (no, it's not too early to be cory lidle). let's face it, a 7 year old won't get the humor behind black clothing, black hair, black eyeliner, and fake razor cuts up and down your arms unless their older sibling is sad, pale, and unathletic.

the defining lines of these categories should remain rigid because any overlap could lead to undesirable results. unless of course you're going to throw babies at houses, because let's face it, dead baby jokes are always funny.

they've got some balls

i got an email today informing the students that yes, it's that time of year again...barrister's ball! how much, you ask, does it cost to hang out with a bunch of law students all night? $35. ha! i dont do that for free most nights. they really must think i'm stupid.

baby it's cold outside

and i hate it. winter sucks.

smell ya later

as i try to do with as many weekends as possible, i'm getting the hell out of pennsyltucky this weekend. i'm visiting some old college friends/roommates down in dc, and quite probably going to nightmare on m street.

see ya suckers.

from pfizer with love

i dont know if it's the fact that it's getting colder and winter is almost here, or if it's coincidence, or if it's something else, but lately i've been hearing and reading a lot about diseases (for lack of a better word at the moment) such as depression, add/adhd, etc.

i'm not out to offend anyone (though i dont really care if i do), but this is really getting ridiculous. i have no doubt in my mind that some people truly do have depression or adhd, but i would also guess it's a definite minority of those formally diagnosed (that means a low number, not black people).

for some reason, we're a drug crazy world today. maybe reality is too painful, or maybe it's the awesome high...i dont know. but remember when hyperactive individuals between the ages of 5 and 18 used to be called "kids"? i do. it wasnt even that long ago. i think i was a kid! and i look back on those years fondly. and look at me, i made it thru high school, college, and soon law school just fine! my grades are good and i'm a normal social human being. if i were a kid today, i'd be superhuman! it's almost as if it's trendy to be depressed/hyperactive. psychological disorders are the new black!

here's an example. look at a definition of "atypical depression": "Atypical Depression (AD) is a subtype of Major Depression characterized by mood reactivity — being able to experience improved mood in response to positive events. In contrast, sufferers of "melancholic" depression generally cannot experience positive moods, even when good things happen."

i'm sorry, what? hmmm, that's interesting. because when good shit happens to me, i'm fully capable of an "improved mood." and when bad shit happens, i dont get one. oh shit! maybe i'm depressed! someone give me pills...NOW!!!! you see, now to me, atypical depression (or AD if you're in the field like i am) reminds me of this other disease--being human. and "melancholic" depression seems like what, back in the day, we used to call simply "depression." how is one depressed if good things make them happy? somewhere webster is rolling over in his grave. and perhaps that's better than having jefferson roll over in his slave, but i'm not sure.



this whole discussion also reminded me of something bill maher said, so i leave you with a few of his thoughts:

If you think the worst thing Congress doesn't protect young people from is Mark Foley, then wake up and smell the burning planet. The the ice caps are cracking, the coral reefs are bleaching, and our poisoned groundwater has turned spinach into a "side dish of mass destruction." Read the labels on your food. It turns out the healthiest thing you can put in your body is Mark Foley's penis.

But that's America for you: a red herring culture, always scared by the wrong things. The fact is, there are a lot of creepy, middle-aged men out there lusting for your kids. They work for MTV, the pharmaceutical industry, McDonald's, Marlboro, and K Street.

And recently, there's been a rash of strangers making their way onto school campuses and targeting your children for death. They're called military recruiters. More young Americans were crippled in Iraq last month than any month in the last two years. And the scandal is that Mark Foley wants to show them a good time before they go?

When will our closeted gay congressmen learn, our boys aren't for pleasure, they're for cannon fodder? Why aren't Democrats and the media hammering away every day about who we're supposed to be fighting for over there, and what the plan is? Yes, Mark Foley was wrong to ask teenagers how long their penis was. But at least someone on Capitol Hill was asking questions.

You know who else is grabbing your kids at too young an age? Merck, Pfizer and GlaxoSmithKline. By convincing you that your kids are depressed, hyperactive or suffering from ADD. In the last decade, the number of children prescribed anti-psychotic drugs in America increased by over 400%. Which means either that our children are going insane-which we might look on as a problem-or more likely, we have, for profit, created a nation of little junkies.

So, stop with the righteous indignation about predators. This whole country is trying to get inside your kid's pants, because that's where he keeps his wallet.

I don't care if Mark Foley had been asking boys to describe their penis because I have some sad news for you: your kid is so larded out on Cheetohs and YooHoo, he can't even see his penis. So many of our kids are fat drug addicts nowadays, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies!

So we can pretend that the biggest threat to our children is some creep on the Internet, or we can admit it's us. Because when your son can't find France on a map, or touch his toes with his hands, or understand that the ads on TV are lying, including the one where the Marine turns into Lancelot, then the person fucking him...is you.

high pair

a straight flush, a 4 of a kind, and a night way in the black make me happy. but nothing, nothing, can compare to a real live queen. and the deck is stacked in my favor. i couldnt ask for anything more, and why would i even want to?

objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they are

well, dominique and i are back from our trip. it was a blast. the city wasn't exactly what we were hoping for, but there was some nice touristy stuff to do there. naturally, the tourist areas were the nicest parts of the city. the rest was mostly a gigantic orgy of urban sprawl. but i suppose there's no reason not to sprawl when you're in the middle of the desert.

we had saturday all to ourselves (no travelling, interviews, etc) so we drove to another desert city and checked that out as well. also touristy. but on the way back we took an exit in the middle of the desert, drove for a half hour or so, and found the rock monument. there were hiking trails, so we hiked and climbed the rocks and did all sorts of fun shit there. it was awesome.

here are some pictures from the trip. the 4th pic is the cave from which the 5th pic was taken. so awesome.

one: not always the loneliest number

today is the 1 year anniversary of coalm. i dont have much to say about it, because i knew i'd make it here.

in the first year i've written 382 posts, for an average of 1.047 posts/day. that is all.


post on our trip to come soon.

i'll eat your babies bitch!

but first i'm going to unpack, go grocery shopping, and watch some of the world series. i'll post a note on the trip soon, but not until i get some of the pictures. i'll try to do it soon. i know you're teetering on the brink of self-annihilation in anticipation.

seriously, trippin

but i had to add one last thing. this morning i went to my first class, if only because i was still around and will want to skip it later in the semester i'm sure. our professor was talking about the helicopteros case, asking people for the issue. no one could get it right on, so finally i got sick of it and raised my hand. i gave an issue she liked, and then she was so happy she winked at me. it was creeeeeeeeeeeepy. and to add to the creepiness, she's randomly going to be one state away from where we're going this weekend. but at least she'll probably leave me alone for a few classes. and she left me alone for the remainder of this class, which allowed me to work on the crossword (and finish it i might add), then get 1/3 of the way thru the times crossword.

to top it off, i ran to giant to grab some wings for lunch and got gas at the giant gas station for only $1.71/gal cuz i had amassed a bunch of giant bonus points.

now i'm just home, packing, eating, and leaving for an awesome awesome weekend!

i'm in such a fucking awesome mood you dont even fucking know!!!

trippin

tomorrow (or later today as the case might be) dominique and i leave on our little 5 day trip to explore new lands, new phd programs, and new experiences. it's going to be awesome!

as president eisenhower said in his farewell address, and as i say every time before i leave for a few days, "see ya suckers!"

wag the dog

another incident with mary. some of you may be sick of reading about it. that concerns me...not at all. i write for me.

but i finally let her know she pisses me off. i took the dog out today after lunch right before i was going to go back to school for my final 2 classes of the day, and meanwhile mary and jd (another hick neighbor, his actual residence uncertain) were outside at the picnic table talking. well, santos and i walk down the stairs and to the sidewalk leading to the backyard. he walks onto the grass, and crosses over the tiniest corner of the area mary had seeded and covered to regrow grass. all of a sudden i can hear mary,

"don't let him walk on the new grass! thANK you." bitchiest tone ever.

i ignored her and kept my back to them. santos finishes up, and we walk back up towards the stairs. he's excited at the sight of mary and jd because dogs lack the selectivity gene. he wants to go over and have them pet him. i pull the leash gently, then loudly and not-so-gently say, "santos, upstairs. i have to go to class now." i totally ignored mary and jd.

we walked up the stairs and to my door. when we went inside, i slammed the door. slammed it. once inside and out of earshot, i made sure santos knew he was good and i wasnt upset with him. then i packed up my things and left for class. when i walked outside, i completely ignored them again. mary knew i was mad at her. it was dead silent out, something it never is at my place. they didnt say a word. i didnt look at them.

i didnt have time or the desire at this point to get into any verbal altercation, but if she starts anything i will not back down. i will also mention how she needs to keep her fucking cats inside or on a leash if she's going to tell me what to do with my dog. still, i'm not going to listen. she will never tell me what to do, especially when my actions are already well within the realm of reasonableness.

i'm still really mad. and i miss my old neighbors, law students. what does that tell you?


POST-CLASS UPDATE:
(taking santos out. mary rides up on her bike)
"seriously, [dicta]. i just planted grass there."
"no, you planted grass there (points to other side of lawn)."
"but, it's the nitrogen is what does it. it's like fertilizer, only stronger. only, it kills it."
"that's great..." (walks away, blatantly ignoring)

criminals read? who knew?!

i was up in the cafe this morning before class to get a coffee and work on the crossword when i noticed a box on the floor labeled "books for prisoners." being the kind, gentle citizen i am, i thought i should drop off some books i think criminals might find appropriate. here's my list so far, feel free to add to it:

1) crime and punishment
2) a time to kill
3) the model penal code
4) a prison diary
5) murder, inc
6) silent theft
7) the rape of lock and other poems
8) random acts of senseless violence

second thoughts

i was skeptical when my buddy sent me a text saying we had a 728am tee time for this morning. we did have a frost delay, but we got off the first tee around 845am. however, i'm no longer second guessing the obscene hour now that i'm back in my warm home having fired an 81.

honestly, fuck you

lately posting has been happier, and this provides more of the big picture of my life, which is very happy. but i said i would still use this blog for when things royally piss me off, so here we go...

fuck you mary (neighbor lady). you let your cats run around outside where they hiss at my dog, fight with other cats on my porch, and just screech in general. you say you "cant" keep them inside. i know you're fucking retarded, but honestly.

you're dirty and gross. please never EVER walk around in front of your window naked again. i thought your filthy, unkempt clothes were bad...well i learned my lesson.

get a fucking job. all you do is sit outside with the neighbors, chain smoke, and dig up and replant plants around the yard. stop petting my dog when i take him out, stop getting your disgusting germs on him, stop making me stand out in the cold and engage in innane conversation for 5 extra minutes.

all that is annoying, but today, just now, you crossed the line. dont suggest to me that santos not pee in one place every time. unlike you, i keep my pet on a leash so i can control him, but he runs ahead of me and pees where he wants. if i pull him, he just resists and keeps peeing. he can piss wherever the fuck he wants. if only i could teach him to shit on your steps i'd have it fucking made.

i thought that was bad enough, but then you said "actually, if you could take him way down there by the tree that would probably be better. for some reason it's less detrimental to the grass." i'm sorry, what?? is there fucking magic grass by the tree? the reason it seems "less detrimental" is because he never pisses there. probably because if he has to piss, he doesnt want to go all the way to the fucking tree to do it.

do not ever tell me what i can and cannot do with my pet while you let yours run around the neighborhood doing whatever the fuck they please. and even if they didnt, dont tell me what to do. i've lived here a year longer than anyone else, and i have seniority. my dog has been pissing in the backyard since the time you were dirty and unemployed somewhere else. i will only be in this shithole for 7 more months, then you'll have free reign to sketch out the next neighbor. you have your entire life to live here and be dirty, jobless, annoying, and disgusting. dont ever, EVER tell me what to do again.

tonight santos is pissing on the brand new grass, bitch. only the best for my dog.

things are funny

i mean, really, how can anyone not see the humor in this situation? for you lazyasses, a baseball coach offered one of his players $25 to hit an autistic kid on the team with a ball while they were warming up so the kid wouldn't play during the game, and was sentenced 1-6 years in prison for it.

what's so funny about that, you say? well first, it just shows how ridiculous people are. these were 8 and 9 year olds, and it was little league. second, where else could this happen except pennsylvania? and finally, the coach's last name...downs.

a wise woman once told me, "i'm down with downs!"

hick or no hick

is "deal or no deal" filmed in the theatre district of birmingham, alabama? if not, then why is everyone on the show either overly flamboyant, a hick, or an overly flamboyant hick?


and while i'm busy making observations, why does the place i go to for haircuts send me postcards in the mail reminding me to get a haircut? that's not really the type of thing someone forgets to do. if my hair is covering my eyes then i either know i need a haircut already or am emo and have probably already cut myself.


i also did some reading of some law blogs tonight, and immediately remembered why i dont often read many. probably 80% of them were about the anonymous author's oci interviews this week, which anonymous firms they liked best in their anonymous city...all shit i could care less about. this really brings "self-absorbed" to a whole new level. presumably, these people are writing these blog posts for others. why would they explain what they already know in such detail if it were for themselves? writing down some notes to help them remember what they liked is one thing, but then why do it on a blog? and what makes them think everyone (anyone) cares how many interviews and callbacks they got? oh right, i forgot, it's a contest. well, i'm perfectly happy with my situation, so i guess i win. woohoo!

catfight (not the good kind)

i just heard a very loud shriek outside, and thought maybe one of my neighbors had tripped and fallen. naturally, i went outside onto my porch (whether it was to help or just see is debatable). but there was no one outside.

i looked down the end of my porch, and there were 2 cats there. there's a black and white stray that hangs around our yard, but runs away when people are outside. however, it's not at all afraid of other cats, particularly mary's cats.

why mary leaves her cats outside is beyond me, but now it's pissing me off even more. she needs to control her goddamn cats. one has hissed at santos before, and i dont want him getting scratched. but also, it's just fucking cruel now. these cats have fought before, and now her cat is missing fur a couple places on its back from where the other cat scratched it just now. i went over to the cat to see if it was ok, and it was so afraid and ran down my porch even more. finally i cornered it, which is when i saw the missing fur. but honestly, this cat is scratched and now afraid of everything, just because she didnt keep it in her fucking apartment. how are people like this allowed to have pets? good thing she doesnt have kids.

situations like this place me squarely in favor of involuntary sterilization.

fuc--hump day update

i have nothing to say to you. mark your calendars, it might be the only time.

i lied. but that's ok, cuz unlike some people (debbie) i dont pledge 2006 to be lie free. at least i admitted my lie (again, debbie).

things are good. dominique and i are looking at prospective places to live next year, so that's getting quite exciting. i graduate in 7 months...what's not to like about that? i golfed well last weekend with my parents, and plan on golfing more this weekend.

my interest is waning in school, but i'm finding that this gives me more free time (not that there's much to do here though) as i learn better ways to cut corners. now i wont sit here like i would guess a number of other law student bloggers do and tell you that i've been slacking since day 1. i dont feel the need to gain a superficial popularity online by lying, and i have no need to feed my ego in this manner. i can fully assure you that my ego is already probably filled to capacity anyway. there was a point in time when i was genuinely interested in the law, and thought i would like this. it wasnt really until this past spring/summer that i've started leaning away from practice. while interested, i did work hard in school. and i still work, just not as hard.

some of you know that i've recently been wishing i'd gone for a phd in philosophy instead. but hindsight is 20/20, and as dominique correctly pointed out to me, at the time i felt the same about law school as i now do about the philosophy phd. knowing all that i do now, i still think the phd would've been a better fit for me, but it's not fair of me to second guess my decision to come to law school. and hopefully i'll still find a way to make this degree work for me. and maybe i'll get the chance someday to go back and get a masters or phd, we'll see.

on that note, dominique and i are taking a trip next week to a land far, far away (or at least not in pennsylvania thankfully) to check out a school for her phd and a city for us to live in. be jealous...it's going to be fucking awesome. you should probably just ignore that shit "god" tells you and start coveting my life now. thank you and goodnight.

why i write

i write this blog for me first, but getting hits from searches like these doesnt hurt:

- i hate fat people
- i hate law school

have i told, you lately, that i hate you?

have i told you, there's no one else below you. you fill my heart with badness, take away all my gladness, fuel my anger that, that's what you do.

fucking law students.

so this requires a bit of a backstory. a friend and i were discussing a local band we like, and i saw on their website that they play weddings. so we decided to order our friend a mail order bride and surprise him, in order to book the band. anyway, she emailed our conversation to laura and a few other, evidently random, people. laura replied to my email, and i burst out laughing at her response in my law school cafe.

then these 2 2L girls at the next table who heard me laugh turn around, and laugh to each other about me. then they look at me, and one asks, "something funny?" to which i replied, abrasively, "i'm laughing, aren't i?" then they look at me, and they kind of laugh, then one gives me a thumbs up.

so apparently, i'm not allowed to laugh here without drawing criticims or being made fun of (this of course ignores the fact that these 2 were talking and laughing the whole time). i honestly dont know what drove their reactions to my laughter. perhaps their own insecurities, as one is quite mannish and the other is her fat friend, who i'm sure she hangs out with to look less fat? maybe since they're both ugly? or maybe it's just their natural lack of social skills, being law students and all.

either way, they dont know me, and in the future they might consider hesitating before taking a good, long look at themselves. it is exactly this type of clicky, superficial, shallow, ridiculous, illogical, nonsensical behavior which drives me to loathe so many of my fellow classmates. honestly, what the fuck?

the comfort in it all is knowing how happy i am with my friends and my life. it's a happiness in itself, that people like these 2 could never understand. nevertheless, it's still a pain in my fucking ass to have to put up with this shit.

haha

does anyone else find it funny that the president and inventor of the hoveround is named tom kruse? it's like "hey, you're handicapped and cant walk. i invented a nice little chair for you. i can walk though. my name is kruse, which you can only do in the chair, you know, since you cant walk." it's like he's sticking it a little extra to the handicapped people. i like it!

sweet justice

is shooting a 48 on the front 9 only to follow up it with a 38 on the back.

it's about time

law school has finally proven to be useful for something! i started to read a case for family law today, when the fact pattern struck me as being familiar. the case was about whether california had personal jurisdiction over a father so i went back to my civ pro notes and sure enough, i found notes on the case! the moral of the story is that the only thing law school is good for is occasionally realizing you've already read something in one class so now you dont have to for another.

you are the good things

so often in society we, myself included, focus on the negative. if you dont believe me, watch any episode of the news on any channel or read any newspaper or any news website. there's hardly ever any good news. and anything that might qualify is usually fluff that wouldnt qualify for news even if michael jackson invited it for a slumber party at neverland ranch and then rep. foley tried to have sex with it.

tv, movies, and magazines force us to either fix or come to terms with our defects. you're too fat, your hair looks like you could be one of dicta's neighbors, you need to eat the cheerios your 4 year old brings you at 330am or else he will grow up with only a mommy, etc. nobody's perfect, but we're going to tell you how you fall short. oh, and by the way, we coincidentally offer a product to fix you. try it!

i think there needs to be more of an emphasis on people recognizing what's good about them. because when people see the bad in themselves they give up hope, steal my tax money via welfare and other poorly executed social programs, then move to apartments around me and haunt my everyday. but this isnt about me, it's about you.

what's your best thing about you? what about yourself are you proud of? what, when you think about it, makes you feel good about yourself?

i'll kick things off. you might think i'm going to say my strikingly good looks, but not this time. sure that's nice, but i'm not a piece of meat. you might also say my self-confidence, but i wouldn't go that far either. or modesty. true, i've got that, but it's not my favorite thing.

no, mine has got to be my sense of humor. i laugh at almost everything, and almost nothing is off limits. i can also laugh about stuff that also pisses me off (see: law school). a few topics i find humorous include, but are not limited to: child molesting priests, dumpster babies, handicapped people, retarded people, and midgets. i mean, what's funnier than the hypocrisy of a priest molesting a handicapped midget baby then throwing it in the dumpster when he's done, only to have a mass of people gather every sunday and hang on his every holy word?

as a side note, it just occured to me that people might notice how i'm constantly amused by child molesting priests. it doesnt help that a new one is outed every few days. but also, i can guess what some of you might be wondering and no, i was not molested by a priest when i was younger. i fancy the ladies, dominique to be specific. besides, it was kind of a turnoff when i learned that "holy" didnt really mean what i thought it might.

i feel like barfing tonight, like barfing tonight. or alternatively, control your pussy part 2

tonight might very well have been the most frightening night of my life, and it's not even halloween yet. it started out like any other...i did some work, got ready to watch the mlb playoffs. the night game was rained out, so i decided to watch LOST. as it was coming on, santos was making it quite evident that he needed to go outside, so i took him during the first commercial break.

being after 9pm it was quite dark out, and the moon was on the other side of my building, making it even darker. the only direct light was the one outside my door up on my second floor porch. my eyes hadnt fully adjusted yet as santos and i were walking down the steps, so i was concentrating on not falling. i heard voices out in the street, and i looked up to see if i could see the people. just then, i saw something jump out of the corner of my left eye and it really caught me off guard.

it was just mary's cat, which had been sitting in her window. but it was right then that what is sure to haunt me for a long time happened--i saw mary thru her window where the cat had been...and she was completely butt ass naked. and she was facing the window.

it's hard to fully grasp this situation without knowing or having ever seen mary, but i assure you, and dominique can attest to this inasmuch as she's seen mary before, it was absolutely terrifying. once my mind registered what i had actually seen i immediately looked away, but it was far too late. the damage had already been done. i spent the majority of the next hour cowering in the corner of my apartment furthest from the door, shivering. santos tried to play tug with his rope and make me feel better, but it's hard to be comforted by someone who licks his own balls. it's like a child seeking out a priest after he's been molested. the idea seems good in theory, but it just doesnt work. i might never sleep again.

please excuse me while i go wash my eyes out with bleach.

today is so ms

and by ms of course i mean mixed signals. it's just before noon, and i cant yet decide if this morning went well or not. i think overall it probably did, but i'm not positive. i just dont know.

i woke up tired as shit, but what's new. i laid in bed and strongly debated not going to my first class, but instead sleeping an extra 60-90. i got up. as i got to school, i developed a headache. had this come earlier when i was still home i would've simply gone back to bed. bad timing. school occasionally gives me a headache, but usually not until i've been there a while.

but then my coffee was free because i used a dollar that i found yesterday out by my car. sure, i might have assumed it was the person's who parked next to me, but suppose it wasnt. suppose the wind blew it between our cars. had i placed it under their wipers or in their doorhandle i might've unjustly enriched them. and that's against my public policy. besides, this is law school. one of the other money grubbers who walked by would've just stolen it anyway. so the coffee was good.

then i got to class. holy shoot me in the face. it's not that i dont like talking about full faith and credit--it's that i hate it. then again, that's why i had the crossword and the internet.

which reminds me, before class i looked briefly at today's paper. one of the little blurbs caught my eye, and i couldnt stop laughing. i still cant really. i love laughing. anyway, here's what it said:

congress' scandal
as house speaker dennis hastert
rebuffs calls for his resignation,
disgraced former rep. mark foley
says through his lawyer that he was
abused by a clergyman as a teen but
accepts full responsibility for sending
sexual messages to teen male pages.
foley also says that he is gay.


hahahahahahahahahahahaha oh man, now THAT'S news! just casually mentioning that you were abused by a clergyman (go figure! hahahahaha oh, religious figures, will you never keep your hands to yourselves, or on yourselves!?!), but oh, i'm not blaming that. i just wanted to let you know, by the way, i was abused. feel sorry for me? please? i'm not saying it's not my fault, but i mean, he made me reacharound. i was just a kid. i didnt even know how to do it right! i'm the worst reacharounder ever. ha, give me a break foley. your statement is as transparent as the placenta tom cruise eats. and was it really necessary to add that last comment that he's gay? i think most people could deduce that. i mean, i have lots of straight friends who regularly browse teen male pages. i hear the articles are really good.

ahhh well, overall i think it was a good one. i've got plenty of advil running thru me now, so hopefully that'll remedy the headache situation. and i even have a little time to relax before my next classes. time to go defecate on my neighbor's steps.

insomnia's about as cool as anal rape, or so an altar boy told me

i've been trying to sleep for the last hour and a half...no luck whatsoever. not even close. i've got a million and one things rushing thru my mind, and the fact that i fell asleep tonight for a while probably isnt helping either. stuff like unisom doesnt knock me out either, i've tried it before. eventually i fall asleep of course, but i wake up feeling like shit cuz it didnt knock me out so i could get the recommended night's sleep.

so in an attempt to relax and fall asleep i think about such things as the metaphysics of language. but that doesnt work because i'm really interested in it.

these next 7 months will be the most difficult. i know what you're thinking...but what about when i get a job? well, i've pretty much written off the legal field, at least in any traditional sense. law school as taught me little if anything, and i've largely wasted the last 3 years of my life. however, 1 important lesson has come out of it: i dont want to do anything law related.

transactional work might be ok, but i dont want to be surrounded by an office full of douchebags all day. think about it. look around your schools and/or offices. law students who are douchebags become attorneys who are douchebags. i've had enough in 3 years that i dont need anymore. i'm not dumb enough to say all are douchebags, but many many are. and if you dont see this, then you're probably one of them.

after working for a civil litigation firm this past summer, i sure as shit dont want to do that either. they should really be called professionals of procedure. i thought it was boring to sit thru the civil procedure class...turns out that was way more exciting than living it.

besides, the common thread of the common law is that judges decide what they want the outcome to be then use statutory/constitutional interpretation and precedent to justify their conclusion. common law is messy enough where you can almost always find some case law to support your side. if not, statutes are often so ambiguous that you can interpret them in your favor. and if not, then just argue about the placement of a word, the presence of a word, or the lack of a word and there you go, you've now got a legislative intent argument.

why do you think it was such a big deal when roberts and alito got nominated for the supreme court? if there were clear laws and a clear line of cases to follow then it seems that the outcomes of "controversial" cases might be somewhat predictable. of course, there are gaps in the law. but democrats wanted to block the nominations because they were worried that roberts and alito would justify the outcomes they want. if this isnt a real concern, then why all the fuss? judges are human. just like you, me, and everyone except paralyzed handicapped people, they put their own pants on one leg at a time.

so it's now even later, and i'm back where i started, suppressing some thoughts in favor of trying to determine whether language has meaning independent of each individual's subjective understanding of the words or concepts laid forth in the sentence. whether a physical sentence is itself meaningless without notions that we attach to it. or whether two or more people must share in these notions for a sentence to have any meaning. and a whole lot of other crap.

i guess i think about this stuff a lot...and use these ideas everyday, even if subconsciously. i sometimes find myself at odds with the person with whom i'm speaking because i listen to the exact words they use and how they put them together to garner the meaning of what they say. and i think i sometimes just overanalyze the words as if their statement was a statute, and it leads to us being on different pages. of course when speaking, you also have to factor in things like tone, pitch, etc to determine meaning. but now i'm just off on another useless tangent.

sometimes, i just really think goddamn these 3 years. i have no doubt that i'm very lucky to be where i am today, but i sometimes just wonder if i could have made a better choice. of course, then i could be saying the same thing about wishing i had gone to law school. sometimes i wish i didnt know now what i didnt know then. luckily, i've got great friends and family who put up with my shit.

time to try sleep again or tomorrow is just going to turn into monday part 2. i sure dont need that.

case of the mondays

oh it's definitely monday. woke up freezing as fuck. but i refuse to turn my heat on because i also refuse to pay the gas company over $400/mo. maybe it's time to go purchase the space heater. also, despite a full night's sleep, i was so tired when i got up. and reality set in. dominique's gone, it's back to school, back to work, etc.

normally its not so bad, but this year i'm just going thru the motions at school. between school and working at a law firm, i've become pretty turned off to the notion of practicing law. i probably wont take the bar. i almost certainly wont take it next july. classes often bore me, with rare interesting topics sprinkled in. most often, these are things i can get into philosophically...so really it has no application to law school itself. lame.

i also realized that my blogrolling hasnt been working, and it doesnt tell me when other blogs are updated. so i tried to logon and it told me i need to either login or create an account, which i have obviously already done. so i told it to email me my password. it hasnt. piece of shit.

finally, my stupid neighbors need to realize that the LAST thing i want to do before 9am is stand out in the freezing cold and make nonsensical small talk. i know you dont have jobs, but i do have school. and i dont wake up 4 hours early to just sit around and talk or waste time. i wake up with enough time to shower, take the dog out, maybe eat (most likely in the car), and go to class. and it doesnt help that you're crazy.

so this morning, the lady downstairs who cant control her cats (let's call her mary) tried to start up a conversation when santos ran over to her when we were outside. seriously, the only problem with friendly dogs like santos is that they're too stupid to differentiate between normal people and sketchy-as-shit people, aka my neighbors. anyway, mary's cats were apparently outside again. there are also a couple of other cats, probably strays, who hang out by our backyard/parking area. well, evidently, one of the strays got into a catfight with one of her cats, and cut it's eye and tail. while i sort of feel sorry for the cat, i sort of dont at all. if she could be responsible and take care of her damn cats it would be fine. and it might also be the cat that was hissing at santos, in which case i almost kicked it myself. i will protect my dog. i dont want him to be the one with the scratched eye.

time to start working for next weekend...

weekend update

it's sunday night, which means there's only a few hours of football and below average television left until the week begins and i need a giant coffee just to keep my eyes open. but the weekend was fantastic. this is why we work for the weekends.

friday afternoon i pretty much just bullshitted around my apartment. i watched some tv, was generally lazy, and resisted eating the remaining beef jerky that i was saving for dominique. luckily, a few pieces made it to when she arrived, sometime after 10pm. we just hung out, talked, and relaxed for the night...it was great.

there's a postsecret exhibit at the reading public museum thru next weekend, so on saturday dominique and i made the long trek up there to check it out. the guy who started it was actually there too, so that was kind of cool. dominique said many of the ones up had been online, but there were also a bunch of new ones too. good stuff. then we got back to shittsville, took a nice nap, grabbed dinner, made some drinks, and watched part of season 3 of arrested development. it was perfect.

today was a relaxing close to the weekend. we got up, grabbed some lunch (so much food we had to box a bunch up and take it home), and did a little shopping. then we came back, hung out with santos, and watched football (yeah pats!). eventually time came for dominique to leave, so we packed up her bags and she went on her way (and just called...she got home safe, yay!!). once she left i did the required weekly trip to giant. then i came back and ate my leftovers.

it was a great weekend. boo monday, law school, responsibility, boo. i shun thee.