Confessions of a Litigious Mind

The random, irrelevant musings of a law school graduate.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

dark magic

this morning as i downed my third cup of coffee by 11am, i pondered something that i already knew but don't think about on a day to day basis. coffee is so wonderful.

i've been working a 10-7 shift lately, so i don't need coffee to be awake for the job. i generally drink between 2-5 cups a day, the majority of which are before lunch. while i may not need coffee to be awake, i occasionally need it for work.

the first cup of the day is for me, the rest are for everyone else. the caffeine kick works for me, and as i get more hyper i can deal with people a little more easily. that's not to say perfectly, however. win-win(-win).

Friday, August 08, 2008


last night after work i took the dogs out for a walk. we went around the neighborhood. we got some exercise. we pooped on the sidewalk. it was really nice, until the end.

we were only a few doors down from our own when santos and maeby stopped to smell the genitals of another dog that was also enjoying a walk. i began talking to the owner and another woman because (as everyone does) they asked me what kind of dog santos was (i still don't have a good answer for that). all of a sudden, this purebred pitbull comes charging at us out of nowhere. no leash or owner in sight.

now i love dogs. but pitbulls are not dogs. pitbulls are creatures. pitbulls have no feelings and there are no redeeming qualities to pitbulls. yes, i have been bitten by an (allegedly friendly) pitbull.

i guess this dog has figured out how to open the screen door to the apartment on its own. it came running and barking. and it wasnt a "hey, nice to meet you" bark as much as it was a "hey look at how fucking stupid and out of control i am" one. the other dog owner picked up her dog, which was little (all over, according to santos and maeby). i had a leash to one dog in each hand and they pulled me back a bit. the other woman, who i now suspect might be a man due to the giant size of her balls, stepped right between the pitbull and everyone else. she yelled at it and attempted to chase it back to it's apartment, and tried to get the attention of its owners (i dont know that she ever did). meanwhile, the other owner carried her dog back to her apartment, and i brought santos and maeby the other way around a building to get to our place.

this annoys the fuck out of me because pitbulls are an explicitly restricted breed at our apartment complex. furthermore, the woman with the balls told me that people have complained to our leasing office about it before and the office just said that they have to see it first. now i would think that if they're notified, they might try to check. the fact that a pitbull lives there means 1 of 2 things: either the owners didnt tell the landlord they have a dog, or the landlord didnt verify the breeds, as they did with us. this is a pure pitbull, there's no mistaking it.

if it were a random dog, or a non-restricted breed, i might let it go. but i fucking hate pitbulls, so this will likely be reported to the office. sorry, but i refuse to wait until someone or their pet is mauled before action is taken. pitbulls are useless creatures that should be euthanized as soon as they pop out of their mother, who should be euthanized immediately after.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

the point was fast but it was too blunt to miss

yesterday morning i was walking out to my car to go to work when a guy drove up in the parking lot and stopped next to me. he asked me a few questions about the apartment complex. the makeup of the apartments, the rent, utilities, etc. despite his longer hair in the back to compensate for his receding hairline, there wasn't necessarily anything sketchy about him. i mean, he wasn't white trash, but he also wasn't the type of guy i'd leave unsupervised with my kids. your kids, maybe.

but my first thought after he pulled away and i got into my car was "i hope that guy didn't see which apartment i came out of so he could go rob it now." that was kind of a wake up call. i really need to get out of the customer service business. dealing with angry people all day only fuels the paranoia.

Monday, August 04, 2008

i never thought i'd say this...

but i'm kind of sick and tired of arguing with people.

part of my job is arguing with people on a daily basis. it's not in the job description, but it happens as a result. and i dont know that i'm tired of just arguing, i think i'm tired of it because 99% of the time;

a) i didn't do anything wrong that would make someone yell at me
b) i have the same general arguments over and over again
c) a lot of the time it is what it is and if you dont like it i dont give a shit so you should shut the fuck up and accept it, or
d) i just dislike people in general and find it amazing how much they (in general) feel they are automatically entitled to regardless of their actions and/or responsibilities.

i think it's usually a combination of these things, but it can really be any one of them. my job is an interesting one for someone who was already fairly cynical about human nature to begin with. seeing people at their worst surely doesnt change that much. i'm really glad i never decided to be a defense attorney.