Confessions of a Litigious Mind

The random, irrelevant musings of a law school graduate.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006


friday night dominique and i went into boston and visited our friend lauren from college. we got there a little after dinner, and immediately opened the vodka and made some strong screwdrivers. meanwhile, lauren ate dinner and made an irish coffee. i dont know how, it was about 145 degrees in her apartment. then kenny showed up. by then, we had a nice buzz going from the drinks. soon after we headed down to the bar.

the bar was only a few blocks away, and we immediately got a round of beers. repeat several times an hour for many hours. then, the ladies wanted to dance. who were kenny, wyatt, and i to refuse? wyatt held out for a bit, but kenny and i smashed any inhibitions like they were princess di. i shook my ass like only a white boy can. my dancing included, but was not limited to, the debbie dance:

after several hours of dancing and holding back vomit as we watched some fat girls grind on ugly guys, we decided it was time to head back to lauren's apartment. we managed to look surprisingly put together at the end of the night for how drunk we actually were:

the walk back was only like 10 minutes or so (i think) but we got pizza first. we made small talk with the pizza guy and possibly insulted his friend who was dj-ing at the bar we were at that night. all in good fun. on the walk back we decided we needed to call our friends debbie and satan (aka meredith). i got thru to debbie's line first, but it just rang for like an hour before getting to her voicemail. it went directly there for dominique and lauren. in the midst of telling debbie that she's unacceptable, all i can hear is "fuck voicemail!" it later turns out that debbie was out at a was either a vibrator party or highlighter party. probably the former.

after verbally abusing debbie, we turned to satan. dominique and lauren left messages, but i didnt have her number in my phone. so dominique gave me her number from her phone, sort of. see, the number was there, but neither of us could see straight enough. so she just read off the number, and i dialed it. or perhaps i should say "a number." now, the voicemail didnt sound like meredith, but i figured a message was in order anyway.

"HEY SATAN, YOU BETTER NOT BE STEALING GREG'S SOUL! ummm, i dont think this is satan. but if this is satan, do not steal greg's soul. if this is not meredith, i'm so sorry, but you see our friend meredith, she steals souls. have a good memorial day, thanks."

we got back to the apartment, hung out for a bit, then finally went to bed. in the morning i had the hangover i probably deserved. it was a good night.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

at home like i'm kobe in a non-consenting female

well, i'm back at my parents house from my weekend visiting dominique. it was a fantastic weekend, and for the most part the weather also held up beautifully. just a little rain the first day, but that's it. we hung out a bit with catherine and sharebear, and we even saw laura yesterday.

i have at least 2 stories from the weekend, however they will be aided by pictures, and since the pics are not on my computer yet the stories will have to wait.

i will, however, leave you with one parting thought from the drive home: no man, not even burt reynolds, can look masculine while driving a mini. i mean, if you saw marky mark "driving" donnie wahlberg, would that seem like a good idea to you too? didnt think so.

Friday, May 26, 2006


memorial day long weekend trip to see dominique in new england. back monday. as president eisenhower said in his farewell speech, "see ya suckers!"

Thursday, May 25, 2006

jesus, mary, and...tiger?

today i met 3 guys who swear more on the golf course than i do. see that kids, keep those dreams alive. anything is possible.

actually, that's a bit misleading, as i dont swear nearly as much on the course as i used to. i think part of it is i've been getting better, and part is if i stay more calm i'll play better anyway. i played ok today, except a few holes. i got a bunch of bad lies today, but...shit, you guys dont care. most of you probably stopped reading already. fuck it, tv time.

schedule this

i was initially going to post about how after 20 years of school i'm not much, if any, better off than a truant, but something just happened 2 minutes ago that changed my life (morning). the phone rang.

it was a number i didnt recognize. in town, but an unknown nonetheless. i often just let the machine catch these, cuz what the hell do i care? if i dont recognize the number chances are it's not one of my friends calling me to golf on this great thursday. against my better judgment, i picked up the phone.

it was the dentist's office. i'm "overdue" for an appointment (we havent taken your money in a while). they also called last week and my dad took a message, and i knew i had to call them to schedule something, but i was waiting to figure out a couple interviews first, basically to help them so i wouldnt make an appointment and then have to cancel on them. i got an email back from someone last night, so i was probably even going to call the dentist later today to make an appointment. ohhhh, but not anymore.

it seems as though they've taken to realizing when people are "overdue" and now they call these people when they get free times open. they've been trying to get my mother too, so lately the phone has been ringing off the hook from the dentist's office. so she asks me if i can do 930am tomorrow morning. first off, thanks for the advance notice. dont you require 24hrs prior to cancellation? well, this is 23, and i cant make it. i'm gone this weekend (which is true). she sighs. [dont sigh at me bitch]

"how about 830 on tuesday morning?"

"ummmmm, yeah i have something then too." [a blatant lie. BUT, why the hell would anyone make a dentist appointment for 830 in the morning?! good god, its like my dentist doesnt even know me anymore. and i'm in the no cavity club too. if anything that's who he should know. but no, they pay attention to the people with the fillings and root canals and mouth herpes, because they are the ones who bring in the money (or diseases). it's disgraceful really.]

she got so frustrated (seriously, stop taking it personally) that she just said "ok, goodbye" in the bitchiest tone ever and hung up the phone. fuck you dentist lady. now i'm definitely not scheduling that appointment for a while. i hope she has to meet a quota of reschedulings, that she fails to meet it, and that she's fired as a consequence. then i will make my appointment for her last day, as she's about to leave, and i will flip her off as she walks out of the building and i walk in.

i am 25 and still in the no cavities club. you dont tell me when to get my teeth cleaned, i tell me when to get my teeth cleaned. got it, bitch?

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

where the fuck

are my goddamn grades?!

fuck you law school, i hate everything about you except the day i get sweet sweet freedom from you.

playing cards

this weekend, i am going to visit dominique at home. last weekend happened to be sharebear's birthday, so i went out today to get her a card and little gift, cuz let's face it, i'm a good guy.

well, there are virtually no greeting cards appropriate for your girlfriend's mother. there are plenty of "birthday for her" cards, but they all say mom, sister, aunt, grandma, etc on them. or have pictures of half naked men on them. or they talk about sex. or they make you think they're talking about sex and they're talking about something else, like cake. or they talk about saggy boobs, or big butts. or they make fun of old age. needless to say, none of these are things i want to put in a card and give to dominique's mom.

finally, i found one that was ok. i'm not ecstatic about it, but i dont hate it either. i think it's nice. plus, when i brought it to the register the lady there looked at it and said "oh, that's pretty." but i think sharebear will like it. we'll find out on friday.

on a related note, i'm going to start my own business called "greeting cards for your girlfriend's mom that arent fucking lame," or GCFYGMTAFL for short (trademarked, bitches).

Monday, May 22, 2006

motivational monday

Saturday, May 20, 2006

teach your children

or in my case, dog. today, baby s made me proud.

this afternoon, after i got back from golfing, where i repeatedly washed my balls, i fed santos and let him outside thru the sliding door in our living room. well, all of a sudden he looks to the backyard and takes off. i mean dead sprint. so my dad looks out back and there's a deer in our yard, and santos is now chasing it. well, he chases it around the backyard, then the deer runs and jumps up onto our deck and looks like he's about to just run through our glass door. he turns at the last minute and jumps off the deck, santos hot on his tail. and i mean hot. santos was within inches of touching this deer. then santos chased it halfway down the front hill before we called him back.

it was awesome. baby s knows better than to like deer. he will chase you deer! and then, i will punch you in the face! fuck you deer!

Friday, May 19, 2006

some things never change

tonight my mom told me a funny story. when i was in 6th grade, our elementary school played basketball games against other schools in the area. well, one game i had the ball and i took a shot, and as i did some kid from the other team screamed in my face to try and alter the shot. apparently, i proceeded to not only flip that kid off, but the entire opposing team's bench.

the point is, not only am i awesome now, but i have always been awesome.

exploring the wetlands

it was nice out today so i decided to take baby s out for a hike. every once in a while when i'm home i like to go hiking out in the back forest, where i spent all my time as a kid. my friends and i would go out in the morning, come back for lunch, then go out again until dinner. we built forts, forged trails, and found cool places we'd never been to before.

so, a little after lunch baby s and i set out. i still know the woods like the back of my hand. we didnt follow any particular trail, but just made our way thru the first forest, thru the field, and into the second forest, where there's a stream. i expected the stream to be high due to all the rain in new england lately, and i was not disappointed. i could hear it from a few hundred yards away before we could even see it. it's not a large stream, but it's higher now than i've ever seen it probably. certainly in the summer.

baby s had no qualms about just running thru it, even though it was deeper than his legs and pretty cold. of course, he didnt have a problem with the mud either. but then neither did i, cuz we were out there to hike. mud is part of the fun of hiking. eventually we made our way back to the house on an old trail, occasionally either clearing or going around fallen trees.

when we got home, i toyed around with my old paintball guns, so that if we play when we go camping this summer i can shoot my friend debbie in the face. good times.

pink tacos

tonight, after dinner then after the bar i went to taco bell. who doesnt enjoy some tacos. i sure do. well, i decided to sit down inside the restaurant because i didnt want to spill taco all over myself or the car, which i certainly would have (dont judge me!). so as i was sitting, drunkenly eating my taco, some guy stormed in.

it was awesome. apparently the brilliant taco minds had fucked up his order. he stormed in, smashed the food down on the counter, and demanded his money back, all the time telling them exactly what was wrong with his order. the manager tried to remain stoic, but i could see the fear in his eyes. it was great. the guy got his money back, then stormed out, slamming the door very hard, and it made a real loud sound against the wall.

tonight i got a glimpse of what i look like when i come back in a fit of rage after they fuck up my food. and i must be honest, i only love myself more now. it was awesome. awesome.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

drives me crazy

it's good to be home. i consider new england home even though i dont live there for any substantial part of the year, nor have i since 2001. but it's home. it's sunny and nice, and i went golfing today. i'm meeting with a prospective employer on monday, and i'm golfing again with my parents on saturday.

one thing that's universal, however, is bad drivers. sometimes i think we should take cars away from people. only allow public transportation. trains, and buses. and only the best drivers can drive the buses. the tests will be more rigorous than "what's a red sign with 8 sides?"

i'm sick of seeing people drive like assholes because they are on their phones. i'm not going to come out and say that people shouldnt use their phones while they drive (although hands free sets help a little, of course having 2 free hands is one thing, but where's your mind?), but people should be ticketed more frequently for just being poor drivers. the official offense should be "driving while douchebagging" or DWD for short.

if i have to pass one more person who is driving 60mph in the left lane because they're on their phone, i might lose it. and they might lose it. and by it, i mean their life. its bad enough when people sit in the left lane driving like an asshole when they're not on the phone. but if you're on the phone, and someone else is occupying/entertaining you, then you're not overly concerned with getting somewhere fast. so pull the fuck over before i ram you off the road and into the guardrail. and for the last time, STOP acting surprised and upset when i flip you off. shit, some states even have signs that say "drive right, pass left."

instead of pulling over people who just speed, cops should pull over these people because they are the ones who actually create the accidents by driving like assholes. there wouldnt be congestion if the left lane was always moving faster than the right.

these people must be ticketed. or at the very least, shot in the face.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

better than regular england

i'm back in new england!

it's great. i got home in the afternoon, had a great homecooked dinner with my parents, went to matt's for a few beers and some cards, and talked to dominique at night. talk about a great day.

tomorrow i call a few people to set up some interviews, then hit up golfer's warehouse with my $100 gift certificate. if i wake up in time for it all. hahaha.

oh, and in case you were wondering, i flipped off like 10 people on the ride back, because rain is not an excuse to drive like an asshole and sit in the left lane going 50mph. i didnt flip off any deer, but i did mock the dead ones on the side of the road. fuck you deer!

Monday, May 15, 2006

1000 words

i dont want to be accused of rubbing my sordid relationship in your faces again, but there is one picture from the weekend i wanted to share with you all:

man, that was some delicious bacon. it was the extra thick slices. believe what you hear: when it comes to meat, the more girth the better.

motivational monday

Sunday, May 14, 2006

is dicta simply a musically retarded jack johnson?

tonight on the ride home from visiting dominique (look, no link, you happy??) my jack johnson cd came on in the changer and i got to thinking...jack johnson and i arent that different, ya know. sure, maybe i curse more and have a better voice, but we write about a lot of the same stuff. for example, much like i criticize society, so does he:

You win
Its your show, now
So whats it gonna be
Cause people
Will tune in
How many train wrecks do we need to see?
Before we lose touch of
We thought this was low
It's bad gettin worse so

Whered all the good people go
Ive been changin channels
I dont see them on the tv shows
Whered all the good people go
We got heaps and heaps of what we sow

i'm not the only one who thinks our current tv shows are shit and people are evil and moronic. but that's not it people, there's more!

I was reading a book
Or maybe it was a magazine
Suggestions on where to place faith
Suggestions on what to believe
But I read somewhere
That you've got to beware
You can't believe anything you read
But the good Book is good
And that's well understood
So don't even question
If you know what I mean

But it's all relative
Even if you don't understand
Well it's all understood
Especially when you don't understand
And it's all just because
Even if we don't understand
Then lets all just believe

see, look at this! i'm not the only one who talks about the relativity and problem of knowledge vs. faith inherent in religion. or those who believe because its easier than investigating or thinking about it. that's not to say that if you think about it you'll come to one conclusion or another, but blind faith is dangerous.

i wonder why it was jack and not myself who carried this messages to society. i mean, we both have the rugged good looks, i look a little better in a plain white t-shirt, and his beard leaves a little to be desired. i guess it's just the luck of the draw.

but it's still comforting to know that jack johnson is out there getting some of my messages to the public. it's probably better this way anyhow, as i have plenty of stalkers as it is. i dont need the extras that would come with being in the limelight. thanks jj, i appreciate it.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

summer slump

in the last couple weeks, my average hits have gone down from 74/day to 48/day. i know a bunch of the regulars still come by, but the rest of you all are just a bunch of lazy bastards. dont pretend like all of a sudden because finals are over you have better shit to do than read my blog. who do you think you're fooling? i've read your blogs, you dont.

Friday, May 12, 2006

PA (Pretty Awful)

a recap of the drive up to dominique's:

pa must have been in a great mood only rained for 4.5 hours of the 5 hour trip. AND, it was almost sunny for 5 minutes! what a day!

1) pigeon attraction. that's right, they wanted you to get off the highway to go look at pigeons.
2) my favorite billboard: a 3 generation family decked out in all black, and iced out. it's for a jewelry store.
3) rain - what's worse, at one point i could see ohio and it was clear and brighter. goddamn you pa.


things given the finger:
3 humans
1 deer

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


so mark cuban, owner of the dallas mavericks, was fined $100,000 by the NBA for blogging about the refs sucking in dallas' last game. please people, the nba is lame enough already...let's not fine someone for writing on their own personal blog. if the refs sucked, the refs sucked (i didnt watch the game cuz i dont watch the nba cuz it sucks).

eh fuck it, i'm too tired and unmotivated.

well, i'll be visiting the wonderful dominique this weekend, but fear not faithful readers, i will be blogging this summer. you know you love it.

smell ya later

second year.

Monday, May 08, 2006


almost done. i can taste the end. so to keep you all updated, here's the most recent picture of me, taken approximately 4pm today:

i know what you're thinking: but dicta doesn't wear pants. well folks, it was a moment of weakness. anything goes during finals...expect the unexpected.

what did the leper say to the prostitute?

keep the tip.

i thought it was funny when i went thru a drive thru the other day and saw a tip cup in the window. honestly, who's going to tip at the drive thru? there was some money in there, but i bet they put it in there so people would be like "wow, other people tip them. i dont. i'm a bastard." and would feel bad and tip them. do they really think that will work on me? bitch, please. i'm the same guy who crumpled up the food when bringing it back to taco bell cuz they fucked up 4 too many times. and yesterday i went to burger king and no one was there, and i mean at all. and i just ordered a standard meal, i didnt even do anything special to get it "my way" and those imbeciles just neglected to put the fries in the bag. luckily i realized quickly and just threw it in reverse. and as i cursed them out my mom, on the other end of the phone, simply laughed and said "i hope they cant hear you." obviously, i hoped they could.

but it just seems odd to me. normally, if i'm receiving food from my car window i'm not thinking "fancy" or "good service" or even "hey, that's adequate." so why would i ever tip someone from my car. well i guess that brings us back to the hooker. but how can someone who sleeps with a hooker respect themselves? i mean, fuck the hooker and her problems, you've got enough of your own if you cant get laid without consideration. i mean, have you seen some of the dirty rednecks who breed in this country? if you're that desperate, come to pennsylvania and i'll introduce you to my neighbor. she already has like 16 kids. what's one more dirty lovechild?

ok i dont know how i got off on hookers, but the point is no i will not tip you. you dont deserve one unless you climb thru that window and blow me. and i dont care how many teeth you dont have, its not gonna happen. i'm not interested, no thanks. i came for low quality, high fat content food at a not so great price. that's all.

though i think the only real difference between hookers and those who work the drive thru windows is that hookers can do basic math. they pretty much have to. if they dont bring in enough money, their pimp will bitch slap them back to last tuesday. the worst that'll happen to the drive thru worker is they'll get fired. but thats ok, they were probably pregnant anyway, which is why they took so many smoke breaks. hey, they're smoking for two now.

but other than that, they're pretty much the same. both are generally useless when it comes to responsibility and performing everyday tasks. the problem with the drive thru worker is that they got started off on the wrong foot. initially restaurant owners decided to hire the unskilled, and didnt train them well. so now everyone believes that drive thru workers are morons, and stereotypes them accordingly. so, no one with any self respect who would actually do a good job applies for these jobs. except the real old lady at wendy's. she always smiles and gives me the right change. maybe i'd tip her.

motivational monday

Saturday, May 06, 2006

the more you know

i'm the #1 google hit for "my dad is a gynecologist and he looks at"

i dont get it. what does he look at? periodicals?

Friday, May 05, 2006

dont mess with texas

because they google shit like "sexual confessions with animals." sick, plano, tx. fucking sick.

legally fucked

lately i've become frustrated. it actually has nothing to do with finals. or i should say, i'm not frustrated because of finals. i actually have only been a little stressed about them once so far, and that was after 4 of 6. so that's not bad.

i'm frustrated because i'm still among the ranks of the unemployed. i dont have a job for this summer. it's getting to me for several reasons.

first, my school's career services is fucking useless unless i want to work in pennsylvania. and if you think that's what i want, then you've either never read this blog, or you're a fucking retard. i've bitched about my school plenty in the past, so you can just add this to the list of why it sucks. no i dont want to work in philthy, no i dont want to work in shittsburgh, and i sure as fuck dont want to be anywhere in between. that being the case, career services is as useful to me as a driver's license is to a quadraplegic.

also, i work harder than lots of the people i go to school with. i do more of the readings, and do them more carefully. yes, i go out occasionally, but i also go to school with a lot of fucking douchebags (again, read the blog) which provides incentive to avoid personal contact. i love going out with friends from home and college, however people here dont come close to comparing. if they did, i'm sure i'd be out at the bar a hell of a lot more.

i also realize that doing well in law school has very little correlation with how good a lawyer someone will be. but i think a work ethic should count for something. it seems people these days are more concerned with who will shut the shades and suck their dicks, and thats just not me. it's hilarious when bright-eyed 1Ls enter school with ridiculous notions of law being some superior and prestigious profession.

i'm thru 4 exams and i still have 2 to go. but whats my incentive? there's no proof that any of the last 2 years of my life which i have wasted is paying off, so why should i give a fuck? how do i get myself to concentrate for 1 more week on stupid shit i dont care about?

i could've been going into my third year as an unemployed philosopher this summer. what the fuck did i do to myself.

happy no pants day

or as i like to call it, friday.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

dicta loves you all

it seems as though walking tort has a problem with me freely expressing myself on my blog. well, i'm sorry, but i made my blog so i could express myself and engage in discussion with friends. i wasnt trying to start a whole "thing." i hope you also comment on other blawgs where authors complain about law school and tell them to get the hell out of law school. and i hope you also told the gum to get the hell out of your chair. your law school is 53 years old. how do you know the gum hasnt adversely possessed its plot on your chair? gumacre. perhaps you should have considered that. surely you've taken property. you are in law school, arent you?

furthermore, there is nothing i would love more than to "get the hell out" of "your" state. on transfer, i had my choice of 7 different places, and i chose this one. shit, i didnt think i was that drunk! that said, this school was still right for me for several reasons, completely and utterly unrelated to the pitiful state in which it lies. and dont worry, as soon as i graduate next year i will be out as fast as possible. tell the po-po they can just send me my ticket. i'll mail them a check.

unlike some (not criticizing, just distinguishing), my blog is based upon my life and my thoughts. is it "knocking" if it's true? in some places they call that reporting. oh no, have i become part of that horrible liberal media?!? i guess i just represent everything that's wrong with america. well please, PLEASE, accept my apology!

i was going to set out some of the things wrong with this terrible state, but luckily i dont have to. someone else already did a fantastic job. enjoy everyone! and remember, you've got a friend in pennsylvania!*

*me, dicta!

why do i leave the house

so i really wanted a sausage, egg, and cheese mcmuffin, but unfortunately mcdonalds breakfast only goes until 1030 these days. luckily, dunkin donuts serves breakfast all day. so i get into the car and drive around the block, only to find traffic backed up an entire block at this one light. it makes sense, cuz the light on that street is terribly short for the amount of traffic constantly on it. but i dont expect more, cuz i'm in [this state].

after the first light, i try to let this other guy coming from the weis market in, and wave to him when its safe for him to cross thru and take his left turn. but he sits there. i wave more. finally, the second light comes and i slowly move up in the ever-optimistic hope i'll make it. the guy gives me a dirty look. bite me, sir, i tried. you're incompetent.

so i sit thru the first 2 lights, then right before the third one came, a semi tried to turn down the road i was coming from. now, this is a 2 lane road, except that the direction i'm going has 2 turning lanes just at the main intersection. narrow lanes at that. further, the truck is from dollar general, and turning down this road goes further from both dollar general and the interstate. so maybe he was just taking a nice ride around my crappy city. i dont know.

so of course, since there's traffic waiting at the light, the semi cannot complete the turn. so what does he do? he sits there. right in the middle of the intersection. sits. my left turn lane all tries to back up a little to actually help this shmuck, but we're backed up the whole block again, so that doesnt work. so he just sits. finally, when traffic in the right lane clears, we all go around and take left turns from there.

luckily, dunkin donuts was fabulous as usual, and that made things mostly better.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

its like boxing a glacier

this is absolutely amazing.

much respect

to the south african who found my blog by googling "anti-vegetarian facts": you're welcome back here to coalm any day!

if you want to be complete, eat your goddamned meat!

tart cart

i went to giant today, so clearly i have to post. what is the deal with these little retarded shopping carts?
i mean honestly. did navigating a regular shopping cart suddenly become too difficult for useless americans? are we that fat and retarded these days?

actually, i think it has to do with something different altogether. well, not altogether. i think these tard carts were invented as a scheme by supermarkets. think about it. many people, despite being fat already, are conscious about their weight, of course only when they are in the supermarket. once they get home with the food all bets are off. so to them, if you fill up the small retard cart, well thats ok, its the small cart. its still not that much, right? otherwise, not wanting to fill up a regular size cart they might just pick up a little basket and not buy as much. this is unacceptable to the supermarket. so, they introduce the mid-sized tart cart for those who want to buy all their fatty foods without feeling fat. everybody wins, especially the supermarket.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

screw horoscopes, i've got bazooka joe

on sunday, april 23 i had a very telling piece of gum. literally. i popped a piece of bazooka, and looked at the comic/fortune as i sometimes do. unlike fortune cookies which just kiss your ass these days, sometimes bazooka joe gives real fortunes. this was one such occasion.

joe told me that the mailman would be the most important person in my life that next week. sure enough, i got a wonderful finals care package from the wonderful dominique. it was nothing like the package i give her every now and then, and because of that i loved it. thank you dominique!

Monday, May 01, 2006

i just wanted a goddamn liter of cola

i havent had much of an appetite in the last few days for some reason. but today, for dinner, i got kind of hungry. i'm working on a take home exam, so i didnt really want to make anything myself, and opted to go to taco bell.

i ordered one of my favorites there, #6. the chicken baja chalupa meal. great. the drive thru line was small, the guy repeated my order, i was in and out and home in 10 minutes. fantastic for a fast food establishment in this city. but of course, why would it be that easy? because they fucked up my order, as usual, that's why.

for you taco bell novices, there are 2 sauces for chalupas. there's the baja sauce that i wanted, and some white creamy/sour creamish type dealy sauce, which i find absolutely repuslive. naturally, they gave me the gross white sauce. sometimes in the past i have sucked it up and eaten it anyway, but i was not in the mood today. no, not at all.

so i got back in my car and went back to taco bell. i threw the bag of crushed food (ok, so i sloppily put it back in the bag) onto the counter and said "i ordered baja sauce. this is not baja sauce." this fat bitch behind the counter looks at it, brings it to the kitchen for half a second, then comes back and tells me it's baja sauce. "no, it's not. i tried it," i replied. so she goes back to the kitchen, and some equally fat and equally bitchy woman comes out from the back with the bottle of it and says that it's baja sauce. "ugh. just give me my money back."

i'm not sure how many times i've had taco bell, but i definitely know the difference between baja sauce and shit. and when she printed out the refund receipt she asked me to write my name, address, and phone number on it. right, like i'm going to give taco fucking bell that shit. so i just made stuff up. sure, if i gave the real number i could've bitched to the manager when he/she called, but i dont have time for that now. if it wasnt finals time, maybe. but not now.

so now i'm starving here back at my apartment. i did get a free soda out of it because i didnt bring that back. i guess its time to go make myself a fucking sandwich. at least this way if it's fucked up i'll only have myself to blame.

that's awesome

the red sox traded bard back to san diego to get mirabelli back to catch wakefield! fuck yeah! and, mirabelli arrived into logan airport at 649pm tonight on a private plane, and the red sox arranged a police escort for him so he could get to fenway in time for tonights 705pm game against the yankees. that's so awesome!

fuck you johnny, you sellout.

motivational monday

a bonus one for finals time! (read: i couldnt decide which i liked best, so i posted them all)