Confessions of a Litigious Mind

The random, irrelevant musings of a law school graduate.

Friday, March 30, 2007

you know why they're pissed, right?

because jesus isn't made out of white chocolate.

gone for a couple days. fuckin deal.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

i just don't believe it

country music? divorce? sex with children? WEIRD.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

people who didn't deserve a second chance

volume 1 - this bitch. and technically, it's a third chance, since not giving her the death penalty the first time around was the second chance.

lots of people who oppose the death penalty like rehabilitation. i don't oppose the death penalty. it's called the death penalty, not the "random death game." i wouldn't use it liberally, but i'm not against it. ok, the legal system isn't perfect, there will be incorrect convictions, blah blah blah. that's why the standard is beyond a reasonable doubt. as in, it's not reasonable for the jury of your peers to doubt at all that you committed the crime. and if they fuck it up, that's what you get for using a jury of your peers (i think juries are pretty stupid too). you can waive your right to a jury.

and for rehab lovers, just like the death penalty doesn't always work, neither does rehab. is it any better when a "rehabilitated" person goes out and kills someone else than when a possibly innocent person is executed? and we all know that there arent any guarantees of either happening. just because you're sentenced to death doesn't mean that's how you die.

so why isn't there more rehab? do people not want to get into that field? is there not enough money? well, maybe there are not enough people who think it works and is worthwhile and are in favor of providing more funding. i dont know.

i'm going to end the death penalty rant now, but i just got confused when the jury convicted her and yet didn't give her death. besides the fact that it's georgia so you would expect half the jury members brought their own guns to court, she was already serving a life sentence for the murder of her husband that occurred 6 years before this one. i don't get when they tack on more time to a life sentence. ooooooh, a double life sentence! i'm shaking in my shackles! why don't they just give her an antifreeze mail order catalog and allow her to host tea parties in her cell?

Monday, March 26, 2007

fava beans and a nice bottle of chianti

saturday night our school had its annual senior dinner. i guess it's something to honor all the 3Ls for making it this far, all our accomplishments, etc etc whatever. i didn't go. but some of my friends did, and they told me how astonished they were that very few professors showed up...and no one from the administration. all administrators, including deans, were noticeably absent from the event.

i find this kind of ridiculous. it's a school sponsored event, not like some PAD event for students who want to pretend they're still greek. perhaps they know that everyone hates them and the job they're doing, but i dont see how avoiding this event would help anything with that. our school's website boasts camaraderie and community. it's a total crock of shit. it couldn't be more apparent that the administrators run this place like a business, only caring about the bottom line, and not the students. and professors are just getting frustrated as well, and they're starting to not give a shit either. this place is simply a hypocritical, deceptive, distrusting shithole.

when i'm finally gone, just say i was never here.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

can i borrow a hanger?

so this texas state senator proposes bribing pregnant women to have the kids? my guess is that $500 will probably cover the related expenses (assuming that's even the reason they want to abort). either way, 2 alternatives: one, two

illusion...a trick is something a whore does for money

take the quiz here

Friday, March 23, 2007

the results are in

the perfect club: 95% perfect

i fucked up a couple shots with it, but all but one were on the range. i attribute that to it being the first time out of the year and adapting to a new club. when i did hit it on the course though, i crushed it. all in all, well worth the $4.81 i paid.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

several things

1) dominique is fucking awesome.

2) last post was my 500th. i missed that. sweet.

3) just because you have a "god bless america" sticker or "support the troops" ribbons, it does not follow that you automatically deserve my respect. sometimes it seems that these people have a certain sense of entitlement and look down on others. but the cold hard fact is that if you throw cigarette butts out the window or don't signal or drive poorly, i'm still going to think you're a gigantic asshole.

4) today in my negotiation class we were talking about gender biases and stereotypes, and one kid prefaced his comment with, "well, i think we need to distinguish between law school women and regular women," and this complete bitch in our class just turned around and gave him a death stare. it was awesome. besides, everyone knows that law school women are fuckin nuts.

5) popping the 2007 golfing cherry today. i wouldn't be a good law student if i didn't skip my afternoon classes on what might possibly be the only nice day in the history of pennsylvania. it's gonna be ugly.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

pennsyltucky field tripping

i went to giant today because i hadnt been grocery shopping in about 2 weeks. while there, i encountered a group of school kids on a field trip, complete with a grocery cart full of jackets. while health should undoubtedly be on most americans' minds, i cannot imagine the educational value of bringing children to the supermarket.

"hey billy joe, cletus, bobbi lee, look! this here's where them city folk git their fancy diet pills and cow meat!"

Sunday, March 18, 2007

nothing says st. patrick's day like a bright green fetal alcohol syndrome awareness t-shirt

for a good textual recap of st. patty's day, read this.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

smell ya later

gone for a few. deal with it.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

santos will cut you, but he will do so playfully

"image is the new racism"

keith oppenheim is a master of broaching sensitive subjects. a master.

Monday, March 12, 2007

score one for the good guy

i got my perfect club in the mail today. now i just need to wait for fuckin PA to cooperate so i can test its perfection.


they booted the ugly chicks. hilarious.

christian value store

or more commonly, cvs. or more commonly, pos.

i call in my prescriptions to a cvs down the street from my apartment. one thing i dont get is how if you have a prescription already in the cvs system it isn't automatically transferred to some database to be accessed by all the stores. instead, you have to specifically talk to a pharmacist each time you want to refill at a different location. but that's another story.

i have 2 allergy prescriptions, one of which i was refilling for the first time today. it's a very basic prescription, yet the cvs pharmacist i talked to said they dont have it. then she told me to try the cvs across town, as they were sure to have it. i have several problems with this (obviously).

first, she didnt ask me if i want to cancel the refill of the other prescription that i had already renewed on the phone. why the hell would i want to go to 2 different cvs's across town from each other when i could go to just one?

second, and perhaps more enraging, you're both fucking cvs. you're in the same fucking town. what, there's no communications between cvs stores? you cant transfer inventory back and forth so a customer doesn't have to go to 2 different locations? how fucking retarded is cvs that they cant do this? it seems to me that the "christian" thing to do would be to make it easier for the customers. then again, it's also the christian thing to stone people and molest altar boys, so i dont know if a good blanket rule would be to do the "christian" thing. but you get my point.

motivational monday

Sunday, March 11, 2007

you heard it in virginia first

latinos frequently commit, and are victims of, statutory rape. it's like virginia is saying what we're all thinking. latinas are at risk because they dont understand american laws that conflict with their social mores.

now dont get me wrong, i think it's a good thing to try and combat statutory rape. i just think the way the article is written seems funny. evidently, no one wants to have sex with little white girls. little white boys is obviously another story of course, with a church on every corner (e.g.) and michael jackson lurking somewhere (incidentally, i just dont get the lack of total moral outrage with this guy just because he put out a few sub-par albums).

the proposed fotonovela seems a little hacky to me, but if it gets the point across to people who will actually read it then i'm all for it. the article limits the info about the fotonovela, probably to urge people to buy it and read the whole thing. but from the cnn piece i can already detect one fatal flaw in it: nobody wants to have sex with a girl named janet. honestly.

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Saturday, March 10, 2007

missed opportunities

this morning i helped one of my friends pack up her stuff to move out of this horrible place (lucky bitch). as i was pulling down the street to park the very same cuntbag professor i was just bitching about yesterday was about to cross the street. unfortunately she looked up in time, saw my car, and stopped safely on the sidewalk, waiting until after i passed by to cross. i think a nice way to celebrate women's history month would've been making this woman history. oh well, still 21 days left i guess.

Friday, March 09, 2007


it's spring break. i will be spending 4 days or so visiting dominique which will be nice, but the rest of "break" is really no break at all. it's mainly because one of my professors is a fucking cunt and expects us to work on papers due shortly after we get back from break. and i'm in fucking pennsyltucky so there's still goddamn snow on the ground. and rednecks abound. and i woke up with a sore throat this morning, which most likely means i'm getting sick. so that's nice.

i cant even believe that someone nominated this stupid slut to speak at the senior speaker's dinner. of course she didnt win the speaking position, but the fact that she was nominated is vomit inducing enough. of course, i know the girl who nominated her and she's pretty fucking chemically imbalanced too so maybe it makes sense. all we do in this retarded class is read a chapter each week (all of which say the same goddamn thing) about the ethics of practicing law across national borders then she asks us questions to help her do her fucking job as chair of this-or-that organization. then we have to write a paper. to do the paper we have to conduct interviews as part of the requirement, but also because there isn't any literature on the subject. yet she never stops to think about why there isn't any fucking literature...because no one gives a flying fucking shit!

i mean, think about it. ethical rules involved in practicing across legal borders. international law is bullshit enough as it is when there aren't enforcement mechanisms. and these are lawyers we're talking about. they can craft any argument/justification why the ethical rule they followed should be the one that applies, or perhaps more often why the ethical rule they ignored should not apply. and who determines the sanctions? one of the international voluntary organizations like the IBA? give me a fucking break. if you don't like the rules you just wont join, and therefore you wont be "bound". besides, these organizations cant even agree themselves on a code of ethics to follow. so we're supposed to give weight to proposed codes of ethics of voluntary organizations? hahahahaha fucking right.

i better find a lot of people to interview so my paper can just be pure regurgitation. i've written a lot of bullshit in my day (see: law school exams), but this one might just take the cake.

she had me at "really manly but not rosie"

it makes foreign policy look so simple, really.

thank god for technology

Thursday, March 08, 2007


i'm surprised they were even hired for the day shift. atlanta must seriously be hurting. they almost make anna nicole look like a night-shifter, even in her present state.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

shakira follow-up

Videos by Andrew: Shakira's

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sometimes i think not having class on wednesdays actually hurts me.


Atlanta Grape Stomp

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global warming my fucking ass

it's fucking march. enough already.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

where do i sign up?!

does anyone else have this sudden urge to go to appalachian state university? can i apply online?!?!

Sunday, March 04, 2007

some people just dont get it

Did you know that 'gay' used to mean happy? When I was growing up it meant 'lame'. And now it means a man who makes love to other men.

Thursday, March 01, 2007


i dont usually talk about politics on my blog, mainly because i'm right and everyone else is wrong, but i thought that this was a very interesting article about obama.

you can never please everyone of course, but it's interesting how many debated have centered around whether obama is really black. a couple conservatives (perhaps not surprisingly) even went as far to say "he's very white in many ways" (whatever that means) and "as a white guy...[y]ou don't notice that he is black. so he might as well be white..."

but if he's got the best ideas for foreign and domestic policy, who the fuck cares what color his skin is or whether he's got a vagina or not (while i havent come across any allegations of this, there are some relating to hilary and a penis...and not bill's)? that stuff shouldn't be relevant*, but dont tell your average person that. they're far too ignorant.

*there is an argument out there that if we elected a woman president there's a risk that while pms-ing she might irrationally invade a country based on false claims thus killing tons of innocent civilians. but does anyone else see the irony in this argument?

this week

it's been really long, but it's coming to a climactic end (that's what she said!)

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