Confessions of a Litigious Mind

The random, irrelevant musings of a law school graduate.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

the state of the union

in a word: fucked

today i got a haircut on my lunch break. two of the hairdressers at the place were talking about the election and campaigning. they thought obama's name was osama. they truly and honestly did not know his name, much less a damn thing about any of the issues or what anyone stands for. i bet they could tell you he's black and that hillary has a penis.

we are all fuckity fuck fucked. welcome to america, where people are ignorant assholes, but at least they give enough of a shit to talk about stuff without any knowledge basis?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

utter randomness

i seem to have stepped away from the computer in the last week. oops.

dominique and i have spent a lot of time searching for (and touring) new apartments. we've seen a few that we liked on paper, but as usual they all seem to have a problem once we get there. the ones with only one problem seem good at first, but then i remember the place here only has 1 problem too, and it bothers us everyday. so we are basically looking for perfection (or at least something problem-free), which is why we haven't been successful yet.

i played in my second golf tournament. i played a little bit better, but i still can't hit the driver too well, though it is getting better. i decided (impulsively, of course) to get a new one on sunday night, and found a bargain on ebay for a new 2006 adams 9.5 degree redline rpm 460cc driver. now i'm just itching for it to get here.

i haven't played poker in weeks. online is crap.

the job is good. every year employees get to sit down with their boss and talk about career opportunities or paths that are available. i've only been working here for 7 months, so this was a good thing and i got to learn a lot about what's out there, which was cool. i like that they sit down with you individually to talk about what you want to do and what possibilities are out there. the job is still a job though. i deal with people all day which, as you might guess, definitely wears on me from time to time. especially when some of the people are assholes. and the problem is that my position can sometimes be a conduit of bad news, and i come out looking like the bad guy for decisions that come from above. but hey, that's what entry level is for i suppose. maybe that's why we have those meetings.

looking forward to a wedding this weekend, and seeing my parents. should be a nice break. things are pretty good in general, but tiring. i should just win powerball already.

nobody cares about this post. i think i just wrote it for myself. i dont care if nobody cares. i feel better. nice.

Monday, April 21, 2008

movin' on up (to the east side?)

it was only a matter of time. dominique and i are searching for a new apartment.

we want to stay in the same general area because it's close to her work. i have a 20 min ride, which i don't mind. i enjoy the time in the morning to wake up and listen to a little music.

but this apartment has really gotten to me (us). in the beginning, much to everyone's surprise, i was patient about everything. in the first couple months, dominique already had the foresight to dislike certain aspects of the living situation. i had the same foolish optimism that i so often mock, insisting that things would get better. and to some small extent, i was right. it did get a little better. but that doesn't mean it ever became good.

certain things about the apartment are good. it's big. it's in a decent location/neighborhood. the rent is cheap and includes heat. but the sucky is starting to outweigh the good.

the parking sucks. it's a daily pain in the ass (sometimes at least twice). parking cars, getting cars out of the driveway. having to call people you dont want to call, people who don't want to be called. and vice versa. staying up late every weeknight. our daily routine has become an adjustment to suit other people. at first it was just a new experience. it was living in the city. now that the novelty has worn off, it is what it is--a pain in the fucking ass. everyday. every goddamn day. right now even. this very second as i type, dominique is receiving disappointing news on the phone from the neighbors. oh great, one of the dumb cunts parked in the middle of the fucking driveway and then went out drinking. her roommate doesn't know when she'll come home, or if anyone else will. right now all the cars left would fit in the driveway, unless others come home. it's not that i necessarily want to go to sleep now, but i'd like to go to bed. maybe watch the daily show/colbert report, or good eats. whatever. but i don't want to be sitting here on the couch waiting for some drunk slut to come home to pass out. on a monday. this is our fucking daily routine.

besides that, there are landlord issues. they don't affect the day-to-day stuff, but they're there. promised improvements or repairs that have never happened. a feeling that she's the type to try to fuck us out of the security deposit. when we moved in, she charged us first month/last month/security deposit, which is technically illegal here. landlords cannot require all 3. that's just as much our fault for not knowing the law at the time as it is hers for either not knowing it or ignoring it. the last month money is already gone, so now that it's paid it'll be nice when the last month comes and we don't need to pay the rent.

given my general distaste for complete strangers, i think i've survived fairly well in the city. and we'll still live here, or in this general area. but we'll find a place with more privacy (hopefully). if nothing else, we hopefully will not have to call someone to get our car out to get to work in the morning. or dealing with people asking to use our new grill then not covering it or scraping the shit off or showing any sign of appreciation or respect for someone else's shit. or having people throw cigarette butts out the 2nd story window to our front steps and where they know our dogs walk. or all of this together. everyday.

and the real kicker is that overall, we might have even been a bit lucky with the neighbors we had. it's obvious we need our own place. a more private one. i mean, between the alcoholic movie-stealing mexicans in south carolina, mary in pennsyltucky, and this, i have quite a track record with neighbors.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

the coolest and least cool things, ever

let's start with the bad: american idol. this show is just retarded. first of all, it pisses me off that it starts and ends several minutes before/after the hour. when i want to watch a show, i don't want it to start at 9:04. i want it to start at 9:00. what is this bullshit? besides, enough moronic americans like that shit, so i'm sure advertisers would pay more for commercial spots than they already do. so cut the fucking commercials if you really can't trim the show down to keep it inside the fucking hour.

second, honestly. i caught the last 4 mins the other night because the tv guide channel neglected to mention the true end/start times. i have to admit, some of these people can sing. well even. but here's the thing: these people are singing hits. ask them to sing some of their own shit (if they are even non-shitty enough to write something) and i'm sure it will suck. these people should never be anyone's idol. however, maybe it's more american than first glance shows. have someone else do all the real/hard work, while someone else has the glamorous side and takes all the credit. it's all a moot point anyway, because all the finalists end up getting offers anyway, then they fade back into anonymity where they belong (well, or the tv guide channel).


now for the good: boycotting/picketing kfc. there's a kfc a few minutes away from our apartment on my way home from work. tonight there were people out front with signs, trying to deter people from eating at kfc. what makes it even more hilarious is the sheer number of boycotters--3. 3 fucking people. they didnt even have enough people to hold up all of their lame signs. one sign had the circle with a line thru it saying "broken wings, broken legs." it didn't even make sense, really. and even if i could ignore all of this ridiculous, let one thing be very clearly known: i would never, ever, EVER let some douchebag in jean shorts dictate my eating habits. i drove on past, but if tonight had been one of the nights on which dominique had night class, i definitely would've picked up my dinner at kfc just to spite them. maybe she'll be in the mood for some fried chicken...

Monday, April 14, 2008


sunday was my first golf tournament in my league. my performance can pretty much be summed up by 1 word: unimpressive.

i can sort of give myself a break on this one. now, this doesn't mean excuses. i played pretty horribly (well, moreso on the back 9). but this was my first full round and i was playing with new clubs. i like them a lot, especially the wedges and 9 iron. but i don't get as much distance with these clubs as i did with my old ones, and i don't like that.

this was also the first time i'd ever been in a league or tournament. my league is both. every event is tournament. i think that makes it cool.

for the first tournament, they picked a narrow course. and the league has me at the blue tees because of my handicap. now, when i submitted my approximate scores so they could assign my estimated handicap (until i have enough scores to officially get a real one), i didn't even think about it, but my scores are from the white tees because that's what i usually play. i think i could score just as well from the blues if i can just improve my driving accuracy. so that's something to work on.

all in all, it was really fun though. got some exercise, played some golf, met some new people (i know, i hate people, but i did kind of like 2 of the guys i played with), and i almost even won some money on the first round. on the closest-to-the-pin hole i knocked my tee shot to 6ft 6in. unfortunately, someone had already hit it to 6ft even. oh well, honorable mention.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

funny, the haha kind?

we got new computers at work today. the old computers were dells. the new computers, also dells. aka, pieces of shit.

so naturally, this morning we had to turn them on for the first time and make sure they work. they went thru their initial installations and whatnot, which normally take a few extra minutes the first time. no big deal. except that mine didn't work. it froze, then moved slowly, then froze again. after wasting an hour, i finally just went back to my old computer. luckily, there were a lot of tech people in the office today so it was like having the helpdesk next to you.

the good news: it only took experienced tech people 9 hours to get my brand new piece of shit dell computer to work. but finally, it does (i think).

the bad news: it's still a piece of shit dell.

dell fucking sucks.

Monday, April 07, 2008

it's been a while

i do have some things to write about, but usually they come in the morning. by the end of the day i'm either too tired or have forgotten about whatever i had. it's probably both a good and bad thing that i don't have access to blogger at work, though i admit it probably does detract from some of my posts.

the other thing is that things are going pretty well right now. my posts have usually been fueled by problems or ignorant people, and there haven't been too much of either lately. well, except on the road. people are fucktards when it comes to driving. but otherwise, not so much.

things may or may not pick up soon as my golf league begins. i'll probably post about that a bit, which will probably interest -3 of you. but piss off, it's my blog.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008


thanks to everyone who came out on saturday. i had a great weekend, hope everyone else enjoyed themselves as well.