Confessions of a Litigious Mind

The random, irrelevant musings of a law school graduate.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

my new babies--thanks america!

i'm finally in a good financial position to get some new golf clubs, and it's all thanks to 2 things that are undoubtedly all-american: gambling winnings and earned income credit. thanks everyone!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Monday, February 25, 2008

man's best friend(s)

it appears as though the pups now recognize the sound my car makes when it's locking outside on the street and they bust thru the storm doors to get to the front door to meet me. now that's love.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

hand of the night

Thursday, February 21, 2008

you already raped me once (i wasn't even dressed slutty), and now you're just getting greedy

like a bad dream you can't shake, such is my former law school. i thought i was done. i thought it was over. i talk to just one person who's still there, and he'll be done shortly. all my school mail is forwarded to my parents' house. they take it and put it up in my old bedroom, where i can just conveniently throw out the entire pile. we had a great system going...until this week.

it began with an email. somehow "career services" (and i use that phrase more loosely that tom cruise's vagina), obtained my personal email address. in my time at school, i was extremely careful to only use my school email for any and all things related to school. only 4 people--friends at school--had knowledge of my personal email address. anyway, the email asked what i was now doing with my life. if i have found a job, what is it? if not, can they help me find one? now i should mention, that this offer, 9 months after graduation, is the most anyone at that school has ever done to help me find a job.

in keeping with my hatred of this school, i didn't respond to the first email. all they did was shun me while i was there, so why the hell should i cooperate now that i'm out?

then i got a second email. this time it was from a professor that i had for one class. for some reason, said professor voluteered to contact me again for career services. how she knew they were looking for me, i'm not sure. and if they seeked her out, they could've made a much better choice. i still speak with one professor from time to time. he was the advisor for the law and philosophy society. he's awesome. anyway, this professor emailed me asking me to email career services and update them.

if nothing else, i'm a man of consistency. this time, i didnt email career services or the professor.

but just like the mob (probably not a bad overall comparison anyway), they hit me where it hurts--my family. the school called my goddamn mother on me. now, my mother knows how i loathe this institution, but my mom is very nice, and in a moment of weakness (i'm assuming...we have yet to discuss this. i'm waiting until my parents get back from vacation), she gave them my cell number. my last untouched sanctuary.

the school showed me that two can play the game of consistency. not that i would expect anything else, but once again the school admins were a bunch of dumbasses. when the school called, i was at work. my phone vibrated (best feature ever) and i recognized the area code as being pennsyltucky, but i assumed that one of my friends had gotten a new number. one of my good friends from home lives there now and i'm not sure i put his landline into my phone.

i answered the phone, and disappointment immediately set in when i realized who was on the other end. i advised them that i was at work, and would have to speak with them later. instead of understanding the reality of the situation, they brushed my statement aside and asked where i worked, what i did, my title, and if i enjoyed it. i again said i would have to talk to them later, as i was at work. this time it registered, but they still pushed me for a time. ironically, had career services been this pushy when i was still in pennsyltucky, i might already have a job that they know about. but i digress.

the end result is this: i emailed them back with a short, lacking email with the bare essentials of their request. now i'm apparently on some resource list for students who want to learn more about careers that don't involve being someone's bitch. i'm almost ok with this. i'm sympathetic to other students who realize they don't want to practice, especially if they got duped into that horrible institution as many in my class did. but i'm still thinking it might be time for a new email address and phone number.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Monday, February 18, 2008


i've been a bit m.i.a. lately. we had a friend visit town, i've been working (same as always), shopping for some golf clubs, and watching msnbc.

the other day we watched this documentary about teen runaways who flock to portland, oregon because of the laid-back atmosphere and the readily available black tar heroin. it was mostly interesting, but there was one girl on it that really annoyed me.

she was a 16 year old runaway. she ran away because her parents were "strict"--they wanted her to do her homework. she would sit on the street and beg for money. she got upset when people told her to get a job. she didn't want to become a "corporate puppet." instead, she wanted to "do whatever i felt like." but then she would go to the free clinics funded by, you guessed it, those corporate puppets.

which is why maybe taxes shouldn't fund these things. sure, there are those truly in need. but there are those who simply won't "stoop" to a job they (subjectively) think they're better than. and then there are those who just refuse to do anything and don't hide an intentional dependency. the thing is, most of the people who work with these social (call them welfare if you wish) programs are too "nice" and don't investigate or discriminate. they want to help everyone. which is admirable. maybe. unless helping someone means making them make themselves useful or responsible. in which case they're enablers.

speaking of which, this is probably incoherent. plus i'm watching "intervention" on a&e. good stuff. i ramble about this once or twice a year. you get the point.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

fucking cunt footnote

after dominique got home from seeing her friend last night, she mentioned that she had talked to her friend about the whole situation with this lady, let's call her sue. anyway, the friend told dominique that she told sue that i never received any call offering me the job. well sue told the friend that she went to england and told some other guy at the recruiting firm to call me and offer me the job. according to sue, he told her that he tried calling me multiple times, left messages, and that i never called back. also according to sue, that guy is "in trouble" about it or something.

maybe it's my universal skepticism, but to me this sounds like a ton of bullshit. everyone placing blame on each other until the whole situation just fizzles away and is forgotten. i don't know what it matters, since they'll probably never see me again. so i don't know why she needs to tell dominique's friend it wasn't her fault when it was. maybe to look good to the friend? or so i won't think less of her? well, i do.

maybe it is the truth. maybe this guy was left in charge of things. still, if she wanted to hire me it doesn't make a ton of sense that she'd just ignore it. especially since the guy said i didn't respond, not that i rejected the offer. maybe she wrote down the wrong number for him. maybe he called the wrong number. maybe he didn't call at all. but sue was my first point of contact the whole time, so there's reason to be skeptical.

it also doesn't make sense that i'd turn the job down. sue was kind of a friend of a friend of dominique, and she knew both thru me and thru the friend who knew her that i was pretty set on that job, especially with nothing else on the horizon and a fairly worthless legal education. i told her multiple times how interested i was in the job (of course i meant in having the job, not in the job itself, a big difference that i didn't bother explaining to sue, however). she talked candidly about what the job was and how she understood if i didn't want to do it. i insisted i did. and i did want the job, because i wanted a job. but anything i got i would've given some time to see if i really liked it. i wasn't about to jump ship to another job immediately. i wasn't even about to apply to other jobs immediately had i gotten that one.

what it boils down to is that she either did or did not leave it in this other guy's hands. sue was a bit flaky, but even she should've had enough sense to know that something was up when the guy told her i never answered or called back. if he even told her that. it just doesn't all add up. the funny part is that it doesn't bother me because that was some ideal job i wanted. i might not have even liked it. i almost surely wouldn't have liked the job, and the atmosphere of the office, as much as i like the job i have now. what bothers me is the lack of responsibility taken on the part of sue and/or the other guy. it might not bother me so much if i didn't work with people all day everyday at my current job as well, where i repetitively see people denying responsibility when it's really quite clear. people are really fucked up.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

what a fucking cunt

last summer, one of the jobs i applied to was for a recruiting company. i wasn't sure that it was exactly what i wanted to do (even when i was thinking hr stuff), but since all my income was generated at the casino i was looking for something a bit more stable. i never would've heard of this firm except that an old friend of dominique's knew the woman who ran the company. like the parent of a friend or something. that's not what's important here.

the more i interviewed, the closer i was to getting the job. the people i interviewed with seemed to like me. however, the more i interviewed, the less i thought i would enjoy the job. but with nothing else on the horizon, i went in for the second and third interviews anyway.

after the last interview, the woman i "knew" (mother of friend of friend of dominique) indicated that she was excited about hiring me, and she just wanted to check one more of my references and she'd let me know the next week. at the end of the next week i hadn't heard from her, so i called. she said she still hadn't been able to get a hold of the reference and that she would try again and let me know the following week. i figured this was ok, because she seemed pretty set on giving me the job, and with that kind of security (say 90%), i figured a few extra days off would be nice. plus i didn't think much of the delay since the reference was an attorney, a group known for not returning calls until there's a reason it will also benefit them.

but she didn't call the next week either. i called back and left a message. the next week went by, nothing. and the next. and so on. eventually, i figured out that the job wouldn't be too interesting for me, but i sure didn't let her know that because i wanted something for now. but i never heard from her again, and that was ok because i ended up with a job i love. and i still love it. but this still makes me mad, because...

fast forward to today. dominique is going to see her friend tonight. she talked to the friend today, and the friend mentioned how she had talked to the woman at the recruiting firm. ok. but the woman at the firm says that it just didn't work out, and that she left me numerous messages offering the job and that i never called her back. what a fucking cunt! i called her a couple times, and she never returned the calls, or she made up some bullshit excuse as to why she couldn't answer me each time.

this is people. people are conniving fucking assholes who try to avoid personal responsibility whenever they think they'll be able to get away with it. well guess what, you fucking whore? you're fucking busted. this is not over.

Sunday, February 03, 2008


congrats to giants fans. we might've been the best team this season, but we weren't the best team tonight. our offensive line blocked worse than britney spears' birth control. for 3.5 hours there was more swearing in this apartment than even i generally care for. what a fucking letdown. i can't remember the last time that the halftime show was more enjoyable than the game. tom petty and the heartbreakers is great shit. all the commercials sucked though. not even 1 good one.