Confessions of a Litigious Mind

The random, irrelevant musings of a law school graduate.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

contrary to popular belief

cleveland does not rock. rather, it idles in its freezing overcastness. i did go to the celtics/cavs game last night which was a great game, except for the final score.

Friday, November 23, 2007

i'm not a doctor, but i'll play one in real life

i take allergy medication. my allergies are far from life-threatening, but i started taking medicine year round because without it i was having a lot of congestion (although it's up for debate whether or not i still have this) and almost daily headaches. i've been taking this stuff since high maybe 9 or 10 years now. (periodically i try to ween myself off it to see if i can live without it if possible. the most recent attempt was this fall, and as usual, i did ok for the first week or so, but once the stuff was completely out of my system for a while the headaches returned.)

so it should be no surprise to the doctor (or his office) that each month i will refill this prescription. usually the doctor authorizes a few refills at a time, so i only have to call the office 3-4 times per year. right now is one of those times.

i called the office on tuesday and the woman on the other end was a complete fucking bitch. additionally, she acted like she had no idea what i was saying to her, as if i were speaking another language. finally, as i was calmly explaining what i needed, she just cut me off and transferred me to an automated voice/touchtone system that prompted me for a bunch of info then said it would authorize my refill. anyone care to take a guess how that one turned out?

i went to cvs on wednesday, not even to pick up the prescription but to verify that it had been called in (though sometimes the cvs here is really good and automatically fills it when they receive an authorization). it had not been called in. luckily, the lady behind the counter was very nice and gave me 3 pills so i could get thru part of this weekend. but the problem is i'm going to cleveland for work for a while, so i need the prescription now (because we all know doctors don't work on weekends or thanksgiving, so i need the authorization either wed or today).

unfortunately, i didn't get to cvs until after work on wednesday, so the doctor's office was already closed. i knew they'd be closed for thanksgiving, so i figured i'd call today. well, before i got a chance i got a call from my mother this morning telling me that the doctor's office called saying i need to make an appointment before i can get a refill. i have 2 problems with this. first, give me a fucking heads up. don't wait until the last time i try to refill to tell me i need an appointment. this would mean lots of people (assuming this is their standard) would have a gap in medication. but second, and equally as annoying, is the fact that their stupid office bitch put me thru to the automated system where i updated both the cvs i use and MY PHONE NUMBER, yet they still fucking called the old number i left them! what the fuck?! so i'm pretty sure i just gave up a bunch of goddamned info for no purpose whatsoever, because they sure as fuck didn't update anything.

so my mom calls me at 10am to tell me this, and now the office is only open until 1pm today. after 10 mins of a busy signal i finally got thru. the first contact woman just listened to me, took my new address and phone number (again), and send me thru to a voicemail for some nurses line, that MIGHT be able to help me out. also, the only way i could get to that point was to make an appointment. so i made a bullshit appointment for some random wednesday after i get back, fully intending to either cancel it or just plain skip out (need to find out if there's a charge for that with these assholes).

ok this is kind of funny. just as i'm bitching about having to leave a message for the nurses, they called me back. the only problem is the nurse told me that she'll pass along what i said to the doctor and he'll decide whether to authorize it or not. i'm sorry, BUT I WAS JUST TRANSFERRED FROM THAT OFFICE! what the fuck is the point of having the front desk bitch transfer me to you just to have you transfer it to the doctor? is front desk bitch so moronic that she can't do that herself?!! what the fuck. i had better get this shit before i leave or else the shit is going to hit an even bigger fan than it has already hit.

fuck law school, i should've gone to med school. i could've still hired some dumb bitch receptionist, i could've done whatever the fuck i wanted and been completely incompetent and not at all responsible for the shitfaces working in my office, and best of all, i could've prescribed my own fucking medication.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

i'm thankful for...

all the good shit that i've got, and the bad shit i don't.

happy thanksgiving everyone.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

what the fuck nfl

dear nfl:

so here i am, 4pm on a sunday watching football, when the end of the browns/ravens game (which is tied with 2 mins left) is cut off. let's face it, the nfl fucking sucks this year and is about as boring as the nba (holy shit that's bad) unless you're a patriots fan or a packers fan (luckily, i'm a patriots fan). but the problem is, all of the other games fucking suck. they're either not close, or they just have the most pitiful teams playing and the game is only close because both teams really really suck.

now i couldn't give a shit about either the browns or the ravens, but the game was tied at 27 with just a little time left. then i check to find out that the ravens took the lead, then the browns tied it up right at the end, and then won in overtime. cbs tells us that "due to nfl rules" we can't watch the end of the game. and i understand contracts and broadcasting rights and blah blah fuckity blah, but honestly. when your league is THIS bad and is just going down the shitter (see: pacman jones, tank johnson, and then the inexplicable reinstatement of ricky williams (this i don't understand, cuz if goodell is being such a toughass commish why the hell is he reinstating someone who just tested positive for drugs in april)), a good idea is generally to make your product more marketable, not less. to me, it seems the smart idea would be to allow people who still probably don't give a shit about the teams (read: probably everyone) to at least watch a good finish.

but no, instead i had a choice between watching over-concussed, senile ex-players irrelevantly ramble about how everyone should be sucking LT's dick even though he sucks more cock than tom cruise, and watching the first minutes of the cowboys/redskins game (wake me up when i give a shit about that either). i live in an afc territory. so fuck the first 3 mins of a shitty, non-local nfc game and show me the exciting conclusion of the game between 2 inconsequential midwestern afc teams.


Saturday, November 17, 2007


it seems as though my first effort at getting a bet failed, so does anyone want to chip in a few bucks so i can sign my friend debbie up for a 1 year subscription to nambla? anyone? anyone?

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Thursday, November 15, 2007

bitch strike

i'm very conflicted about the whole writers strike thing. on one hand, i completely agree that the writers are correct--they should be receiving royalties from dvd and other sales of the shows they write. however, just because i think they're correct does not mean i have much sympathy for them. they're still making anywhere from 10 to 100 times what i am, and i do a hell of a lot more than just sit in a room with my friends and get stoned. but that's just me being bitter, not rational. i can admit that.

the problem i have is that the effect of this is going to be shows that are even more ridiculous and stupid than those already on television. it has nothing to do with potential replacement writers either. as it is, there are very few quality shows on television (i only watch 2 shows each week (the office and it's always sunny in philadelphia), both of which are conveniently on thursdays). once the already written/made episodes of good shows air, all that will be left are shitty shows still being written, and shows so stupid and worthless that writing is unnecessary (think "reality" television, which, although often at least partially scripted, really doesn't take any talent and sure doesn't have writers as talented as the better programs). if this is all the networks can make but people still watch (as uneducated throngs inevitably will), it will only encourage more of the shit. people like myself will go from mostly turned off to tv to completely turned off. even if the strike ends, it will only hurt the writers if it lasts too long.

to draw a parallel, think about the show LOST. i never got too much into it, but it wasn't terrible. i saw a few episodes, but one problem with the show is that each episode opened up new story lines without closing old ones. but the other problem, the relevant one here, is that when they added a lengthy period between seasons to the other problem, they lost a lot of viewers. people lose interest in things. if the writers strike for too long, they'll hurt themselves. i have no problem with that if they want, but i won't feel sorry for them. i won't feel sorry for anyone when i win the $109 million powerball coming up.

this is the most random, obscure, train of thought post ever.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

just plain creepy

and dell thinks this guy is qualified to fix my computer over the phone. bitch please.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

in search of

a friend, male or female, who has $100 and likes to make strange bets. must be comfortable with the honor code, though pictures and/or a witness can be provided after discussion. when i say friend, i don't mean sketchy internet stalker, or sketchy internet anything really. anyone i don't know in person is almost certainly ruled out, i'd say 99% (so you're sayin there's a chance!).

but fear not random readers, it'll all be documented right here if i find a taker.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

more like aqua dates

i really hate it when the AP publicizes my courting techniques

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

post of death

#49 is right in my wheelhouse

this is kind of funny too, probably moreso to me because i don't care for any of those doctor shows.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

back from the land of bacon

there's no place like home.

that said, arizona was pretty cool. met some coworkers from all over the country, only a handful of whom i will see again. enjoyed weather that dipped below 70 degrees only for a few hours a day, and usually not ones during which i was awake. played a round of golf at a sweet desert course, which i've wanted to do for a few years. and i got paid for it all.

but it was a long 2 weeks. i missed dominique. i missed santos. i missed sleeping in my own bed, sitting on my own couch, and cooking food rather than going out each night. i missed being in new england when the red sox won the world series, but it sure was fun to be with a few rockies fans at the time.

it's cold here. and rainy. but it's damn good to be back home.