from pfizer with love

i dont know if it's the fact that it's getting colder and winter is almost here, or if it's coincidence, or if it's something else, but lately i've been hearing and reading a lot about diseases (for lack of a better word at the moment) such as depression, add/adhd, etc.

i'm not out to offend anyone (though i dont really care if i do), but this is really getting ridiculous. i have no doubt in my mind that some people truly do have depression or adhd, but i would also guess it's a definite minority of those formally diagnosed (that means a low number, not black people).

for some reason, we're a drug crazy world today. maybe reality is too painful, or maybe it's the awesome high...i dont know. but remember when hyperactive individuals between the ages of 5 and 18 used to be called "kids"? i do. it wasnt even that long ago. i think i was a kid! and i look back on those years fondly. and look at me, i made it thru high school, college, and soon law school just fine! my grades are good and i'm a normal social human being. if i were a kid today, i'd be superhuman! it's almost as if it's trendy to be depressed/hyperactive. psychological disorders are the new black!

here's an example. look at a definition of "atypical depression": "Atypical Depression (AD) is a subtype of Major Depression characterized by mood reactivity — being able to experience improved mood in response to positive events. In contrast, sufferers of "melancholic" depression generally cannot experience positive moods, even when good things happen."

i'm sorry, what? hmmm, that's interesting. because when good shit happens to me, i'm fully capable of an "improved mood." and when bad shit happens, i dont get one. oh shit! maybe i'm depressed! someone give me pills...NOW!!!! you see, now to me, atypical depression (or AD if you're in the field like i am) reminds me of this other disease--being human. and "melancholic" depression seems like what, back in the day, we used to call simply "depression." how is one depressed if good things make them happy? somewhere webster is rolling over in his grave. and perhaps that's better than having jefferson roll over in his slave, but i'm not sure.



this whole discussion also reminded me of something bill maher said, so i leave you with a few of his thoughts:

If you think the worst thing Congress doesn't protect young people from is Mark Foley, then wake up and smell the burning planet. The the ice caps are cracking, the coral reefs are bleaching, and our poisoned groundwater has turned spinach into a "side dish of mass destruction." Read the labels on your food. It turns out the healthiest thing you can put in your body is Mark Foley's penis.

But that's America for you: a red herring culture, always scared by the wrong things. The fact is, there are a lot of creepy, middle-aged men out there lusting for your kids. They work for MTV, the pharmaceutical industry, McDonald's, Marlboro, and K Street.

And recently, there's been a rash of strangers making their way onto school campuses and targeting your children for death. They're called military recruiters. More young Americans were crippled in Iraq last month than any month in the last two years. And the scandal is that Mark Foley wants to show them a good time before they go?

When will our closeted gay congressmen learn, our boys aren't for pleasure, they're for cannon fodder? Why aren't Democrats and the media hammering away every day about who we're supposed to be fighting for over there, and what the plan is? Yes, Mark Foley was wrong to ask teenagers how long their penis was. But at least someone on Capitol Hill was asking questions.

You know who else is grabbing your kids at too young an age? Merck, Pfizer and GlaxoSmithKline. By convincing you that your kids are depressed, hyperactive or suffering from ADD. In the last decade, the number of children prescribed anti-psychotic drugs in America increased by over 400%. Which means either that our children are going insane-which we might look on as a problem-or more likely, we have, for profit, created a nation of little junkies.

So, stop with the righteous indignation about predators. This whole country is trying to get inside your kid's pants, because that's where he keeps his wallet.

I don't care if Mark Foley had been asking boys to describe their penis because I have some sad news for you: your kid is so larded out on Cheetohs and YooHoo, he can't even see his penis. So many of our kids are fat drug addicts nowadays, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies!

So we can pretend that the biggest threat to our children is some creep on the Internet, or we can admit it's us. Because when your son can't find France on a map, or touch his toes with his hands, or understand that the ads on TV are lying, including the one where the Marine turns into Lancelot, then the person fucking him...is you.