Confessions of a Litigious Mind

The random, irrelevant musings of a law school graduate.

Saturday, December 29, 2007


regular season perfection. fuck yeah!


so, did everyone get what they wanted for xmas? like money, or dvds, or boobs?

Saturday, December 22, 2007

definitely home

so i spent the afternoon having lunch with a good friend and his girlfriend, then making a somewhat pitiful yet somewhat successful attempt at holiday shopping. in this time, i ran into 2 random people who i haven't seen in at least a year. a friend of a friend and a guy i used to play baseball with. damn, can't be here without running into people.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

everyday is a HOliday

jesus doesn't do it for me. i only light candles to make the apartment smell nice. and i don't know what they do for kwanza, but i'm pretty sure i don't give a shit about that either.

nevertheless, i love the holidays. i love having a few relaxing days off with family and friends. i'm excited to see my sister. i'm excited to see relatives i usually see once a year. i'm excited to spend some time with my parents. some down time with dominique, santos, and maeby. and i'm excited to spend a few days at home and see some friends who will be around (sorry matt).


Saturday, December 15, 2007

puppy love

Thursday, December 13, 2007

mitchell report

all i can say right now is wow. a whole lot of yankees on that list...

jesus fucking christ (tis the season)

normally, my commute to and from work is about 20 mins. today a snowstorm hit, and my commute home this evening took fucking 4.5 hours. FOUR AND A HALF HOURS. fucking shit. it's like they've never heard of fucking plows, dirt, and salt.

and people are so fucking stupid. i sat in park for a lot of that time. in fucking park. i'm not asking people to speed, but how fucking hard is it to go 5 mph?! not very. and people were just fucking abandoning their cars in the middle of the highway like their cars were inner city babies and the interstate was one giant fucking dumpster. right in the lane they were in or whatever. fucking ridiculous. goddamn winter/snow/people.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

charity scams

i think this article is amusing in light of a post i wrote last year about how i do charity rather than giving to it. any lazy asshole can cut a check, and as the first article discusses, your money might not even go towards what you think. that was pretty much my point. well that and the fact that it means more to do something than to just cut a check.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


this is pretty ridiculous. i'm all about making fun of shit, especially when people deserve it, but even i wouldn't have gone as far as dressing as va tech victims. i'll talk a lot of shit about how autistic people shouldn't be allowed to purchase firearms, but even i wouldn't make fun of the victims.

i don't know if i posted about it at the time, but for halloween 2006 i knew someone who dressed up as cory lidle, complete with a cardboard airplane and scars. that didn't bother me, so i feel pressed to make a distinction. if you get a pilots license, think you can fly, then crash your plane, you really did it to yourself (and possibly anyone else on the plane or hit by the plane). but the va tech victims weren't guilty of anything except being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

i do have to say, though, that this news does not completely surprise me. in fact, it's about exactly what i would expect from people in pennsylvania.

random news

this is too funny because it seems like the type of shit i'd do.

and you wonder why i have no respect for celebrities. this is well-written.

as if i needed another reason to want to go to vegas.

Monday, December 10, 2007

i can't show you

because won't load on my browser for some reason, but cvs got busted for child labor and tampering with employee time cards. that place is such a dishonest shithole. i hate cvs. this is great news.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

who? WHO??

and that is why you don't guarantee a win against the patriots. suck it bitches.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

all american

when you stay in a hotel for a while, you grow to hate living in a hotel. you get sick of the room. so on thursday night we decided to set up some stadium seating in the hallway to (re)watch superbad. we pulled the mini-fridge out of my room and set the laptop on top of it. as soon as we all finally sat down, this old woman comes creeping down the hallway. we politely move back to let her by, but she stops just before us and says "this is my room." then she asks us what we're doing. we tell her we're watching a movie, and she replies, "don't you have a room?" in a bitchy voice. we replied that we did (honestly you old bitch, who the hell goes to a hotel hallway to hang out) and she just walked into her room and slammed her door.

we knew if we did so much as whisper she was going to call the front desk, and we really didn't feel like putting up with that shit, especially because we only had 1 day left, and this hilton was already the shittiest hotel ever (one other guy and i got stuck in the goddamn elevator for 15 mins and once we finally got out no one apologized or even acknowledged us). luckily, the hotel will get our feedback because my company uses that one exclusively in cleveland so we fill out surveys about it, and everyone blasted it, and deservedly so. the other retarded part of this is that our entire floor, except this one woman, was for our company. so i don't know how the hell this woman got stuck between all our rooms, but it was a pain in the fucking ass and so was she. so we did the only reasonable thing we could think of---that bitch got the all american breakfast delivered to her room friday morning at 6am. suck it, bitch.


in other happy news, it's awesome to be back on the east coast. we only saw the sun twice in cleveland in 2 weeks, and the second time was just annoying because it was in our eyes on the drive home. once we arrived, it was dark.

also, i got dominique her xmas gift today...a puppy! we went to one of the shelters we like, and they had some great dogs. dominique picked out one she liked, and she did a good job. it's a young female dog, and she has a great personality and is really playful and cute. observe:

Saturday, December 01, 2007

akron rocks?

we have the weekend off, so we ventured deeper into central ohio for the night to where one of my coworkers used to live. we hit up an awesome dive bar and we karaoked the shit out of central ohio. and yes, there was some meatloaf involved, among many other things.