what did the leper say to the prostitute?

keep the tip.

i thought it was funny when i went thru a drive thru the other day and saw a tip cup in the window. honestly, who's going to tip at the drive thru? there was some money in there, but i bet they put it in there so people would be like "wow, other people tip them. i dont. i'm a bastard." and would feel bad and tip them. do they really think that will work on me? bitch, please. i'm the same guy who crumpled up the food when bringing it back to taco bell cuz they fucked up 4 too many times. and yesterday i went to burger king and no one was there, and i mean at all. and i just ordered a standard meal, i didnt even do anything special to get it "my way" and those imbeciles just neglected to put the fries in the bag. luckily i realized quickly and just threw it in reverse. and as i cursed them out my mom, on the other end of the phone, simply laughed and said "i hope they cant hear you." obviously, i hoped they could.

but it just seems odd to me. normally, if i'm receiving food from my car window i'm not thinking "fancy" or "good service" or even "hey, that's adequate." so why would i ever tip someone from my car. well i guess that brings us back to the hooker. but how can someone who sleeps with a hooker respect themselves? i mean, fuck the hooker and her problems, you've got enough of your own if you cant get laid without consideration. i mean, have you seen some of the dirty rednecks who breed in this country? if you're that desperate, come to pennsylvania and i'll introduce you to my neighbor. she already has like 16 kids. what's one more dirty lovechild?

ok i dont know how i got off on hookers, but the point is no i will not tip you. you dont deserve one unless you climb thru that window and blow me. and i dont care how many teeth you dont have, its not gonna happen. i'm not interested, no thanks. i came for low quality, high fat content food at a not so great price. that's all.

though i think the only real difference between hookers and those who work the drive thru windows is that hookers can do basic math. they pretty much have to. if they dont bring in enough money, their pimp will bitch slap them back to last tuesday. the worst that'll happen to the drive thru worker is they'll get fired. but thats ok, they were probably pregnant anyway, which is why they took so many smoke breaks. hey, they're smoking for two now.

but other than that, they're pretty much the same. both are generally useless when it comes to responsibility and performing everyday tasks. the problem with the drive thru worker is that they got started off on the wrong foot. initially restaurant owners decided to hire the unskilled, and didnt train them well. so now everyone believes that drive thru workers are morons, and stereotypes them accordingly. so, no one with any self respect who would actually do a good job applies for these jobs. except the real old lady at wendy's. she always smiles and gives me the right change. maybe i'd tip her.