a little rant and then some goodness

oh dell, dell dell dell dell. what am i going to do with you? i know! i will cut you.

so after the fifth call in the last week and a half, i have convinced dell to take a look at my computer, which doesn't turn on when it doesn't feel like it, or which occasionally freezes should the mood strike it. i only had to do the same innane tests to it about forty times before they were convinced to take it in and look at it themselves. what, do you not believe me dell? yeah, cuz sitting on the phone with you for an hour five times in a week is what gets me off. let me put you on hold, i have to change my pants. fuckers.

during the last call, the guy was trying to get me to take out the hard drive and memory cards. despite the fact that there's a sticker on the memory card which says "warranty void if removed," 7-11 assured me it was ok. however, the cards wouldn't pop out. he insisted there was a screw on my computer where there was not one. way to know your own computers, dell help. everyone says dell help is rated well, so i'd like to clarify. the dell help network is huge, yes. but just ask the ladies, bigger is not always better. it can be, if they know how to use it. unfortunately, dell is as impotent as tom cruise around women.

i got dell to agree to fix my computer if i send it in to them. however, to do this i had to yell at the help guy and his supervisor. every call they asked for my name, address, email, etc etc. but when i give them the case number, they should have that shit. why do you ask me if you dont put it into your file? for shits and giggles? enough. and i'm fully aware that neither of these two men is responsible for the horrible mess that is my computer, but i dont feel bad yelling at them whatsoever. here's why.

dell, the company, is set up as to avoid all responsibility. they sell computers online, but do not have real stores. they outsource much of their help, and on more than several occasions my calls have been mysteriously "disconnected." and i've just had it with them. sure, that guy didnt make my piece of shit, but if he's the only one i can talk to, then you damn well better believe i'm holding him accountable. and if that means screaming until i get them to fix my computer (which is well under warranty) then i will scream.

if they dont like listening to it, then dont work for dell. work for someone else who outsources. if they consider being yelled at as "shitty" then go get yourself another shitty job. they're out there, dont worry. but if you work for dell and you give me the runaround, dont expect me to remain patient. because i wont. it's not my fault the outsourced employees talk in circles and read from a script. there's no one else to turn to. the recording doesnt say "press 3 to talk to someone who actually speaks and understands english." so i'm going to yell and scream until you stand behind your shitty product. i'm already missing work because of it, and now i might not have my computer for the beginning of school. the guy said 5-6 days, and when i asked "to fix it?" he said 4-5 days, then 5-6 days, so who fucking knows. i just said "it better not be 6 weeks" and he said it wouldnt. it better not be, or i'll be on the phone every goddamn day.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

also, my credit card expired in july. i called the company since i still havent gotten the replacement, and they said they mailed it july 20. well, now i dont have a fucking credit card, and i'm gone for the weekend. i despise paying in cash and using debit cards. as my credit card company, you had 2 years notice of when my card would expire. how fucking hard is it to send it with a little advanced notice? not fucking hard. fucking morons.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and now, the good. this morning on the way to work, this woman was driving like a slow asshole in the left lane, so naturally i rode her ass so she would move it. she then stuck her hand out the window pushing the air, signaling me to back up. i flipped her off. finally, she pulls aside and as i pass she's yelling and screaming and motioning out the window, none of which i can hear because my music was up loud. so i just looked at her, smiled, and flipped her off again. it felt wonderful.

well i'm off to the dirty south for the weekend for one of my college roommates' birthdays. there will be some beer, some beaches, and some golf. should be fun. plus to get down there, scott and i are taking the ferry. that will provide us with endless enjoyment i'm sure.