naps

naps are the work of the devil. right up there with milk. and you're saying "ohhh, dicta, no no no. naps are my friend. i love naps! naps make me so happy." well you my friend, are nothing but a whore. a nap whore. be honest with yourself. only then can you start the road to recovery. i have an example to prove this theory.

if you're a woman, imagine naps as like having sex with tom cruise. at first you think, "hey, yeah, this is gonna be great! i'm so excited, it's going to feel awesome!" but then you dont really get to experience the sex because, as a scientologist, tom is religiously bound to knock you unconscious. you sleep thru the "good" part. then, you wake up, feel like shit, have a headache, and wish you had those last couple hours of your life back. the only difference is a nap wont knock you up and then eat the placenta.

if you're a guy, then imagine your woman imagining sex with tom cruise cuz i cant think of another example off hand, nor do i want to put in the effort. if you dont have a girlfriend, then imagine your hand imagining sex with tom cruise. left or right is fine.

such are naps. and if you think about it, the word "nap" is often found in words with negative meanings: kidNAP, iNAPpeasable, iNAPreciative, iNAPplicable, iNAPpropriate, NAPalm, a hippy's dirty NAPpy dreds, uNAPologetic, uNAPpetizing. in fact, the only positive "nap" word i found was unsNAP, and that's only positive when there's a good looking lady in the room.

naps suck.