Confessions of a Litigious Mind

The random, irrelevant musings of a law school graduate.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

i look just like buddy holly, and you're mary tyler bored

there has been a noticable lull over the past couple of weeks in coalm, so i'm doing my best to rectify it by posting more frequently again. i have been quite busy, but i dont see that as a reasonable excuse. how long does it take to blog, 5-20 mins? bitch, please.

question of the day: WWRJD - what would ron jeremy do? according to his documentary, he would eat cake off a woman's back while doing her from behind, and fall asleep while driving. while the second may not be too impressive, the first is really ingenious. maybe if i had the same knack for efficiency as ron jeremy, i would have been able to post more lately.

today is theoretically my big work day. only have 1 class, 1230-145. this afternoon is supposed to be an orgy of tax, environmental law, and criminal procedure. but here i sit at the computer, and i cant even deduct its depreciation cuz i'm not using it for business. which is too bad, cuz dell's depreciate quickly, as most pieces of shit do. i dell. did i mention i hate dell? ok, good.

furthermore, i dont see how me reading boring statutes about what the EPA administrator can and cant do will help the environment. the closest correlation i can imagine is that it makes me fall asleep, and the better rested i am the less likely i am to kill someone who pisses me off. but then i think, their body could be used for fertilizer as it decomposes, and smuggs could study their bones. so it wouldnt be a total loss anyway.

maybe crim pro is the most sensible option for me then. especially since tomorrow i'm in one of the "principally responsible rows," which means read so you dont look stupid when you get called on. but right now thats my only motivation, and i'm not even sure how strong that is. i'd rather be doing outlines and getting ready for finals personally. reading is for children and inmates.

i also have developed a headache over the last hour or so which is not helping the cause. and i miss tv too, as i dont get to it much anymore. in what i can only imagine was an act of jealous rebellion the other day, my cable went out. i thikn it's one of those things you have to continually use so it doesnt break. better get on that. there isnt even much on tv that i like anymore anyway though. i enjoy the reruns of seinfeld and everybody loves raymond, i like sports, and i enjoy the poker.

reality tv's not for me, and not just cuz it's not realistic. even if the events that occur were real, it still would not interest me. i could care less who's dating who, and where the drama's at. besides, without the 10lbs of mtv makeup, i bet half those rich, spoiled ho's are busted. and if i want to see a bunch of busted girls, i could always just go to wal-mart.

ok, well i hope this post assuaged the fears of my faithful readers that this post was over. in reality, it has only begun. as long as i have work, you shall have coalm.

3 Comments:

At 11/15/2005 5:58 PM, Blogger d$ said...

i also have a dell.
favorite pastimes of my dell include, but are not limited to:
- disregarding commands to "start" or "turn off"
- performing "physical memory dump"
- refusing to play videos
- restarting at will and at random
we have a love/hate relationship

of course by love i mean loath.

i'd be happy to analyze any of your victims, and just a hint - we don't have many juvenile skeletons in the bone lab..

use puppies or candy, kids are suckers ;)

 
At 11/16/2005 7:38 PM, Blogger JLee said...

you would feel much better if you had a cake/sex combo

 
At 11/16/2005 7:53 PM, Blogger josh said...

i believe you jlee. i surely do.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home