hero of the day

in my infinite randomness and easily entertainable disposition, i often become enthralled with ridiculous things for periods as short as a day. this week it's evidently the side ponytail.

my hero of the day is (drumroll, griswold family style): katie, for wearing a side ponytail for the entire duration of tax class today, based upon my mere suggestion that that's what should happen. she strategically aimed it to the left, towards me, so that it indicated who her co-counsel would be if she was called on. that being said, we both escaped the wrath of alimony payments today.

so here's a tax quiz: say i go to vegas with your mom, and we get drunk and tie the knot. the next day, when we eventually regain consciousness, we realize the potential awkwardness of me being your father, and we get a divorce (and not an annulment, for argument's sake). by our divorce decree, i am to pay your mom alimony. so the first year, i pay her $90k, in year 2 $70, and in year 3 $30k. can i deduct these payments?

answer: no, because the difference between the payments is too great. as a result, the recaptured amount will be treated as income for me, and deductible for your mom under IRC section 71. what we did was front-load the alimony payments, something congress wants to prevent. further, congress doesnt look past year 3 in its calculation of front-loading, so if we had just rear-loaded the payments i would've been able to make the deduction. damnit. it should've been so obvious, since i enjoy rear-loading your mom so much.

come on, you HAD to see the rear-loading joke coming. you know i'm not above that.