fast food follies

new rule: "fast food" must relinquish its title. these days "i'm lovin it" cuz my "finger lickin good" food is something i can "have. . .[my] way." i can even pay with a credit card in some places. but all this wonderous goodness comes with one very unwonderful side dish--its slow as hell.

i just sat for 15 minutes at a burger king drive thru, and i was the third car. all i wanted was some grease so i could study business deductions, depreciation, and capital gains today. further, its not like i even went right as they changed over from breakfast to lunch, so there was no excuse that my food had to be cooked right then and there. i need my fatty foods and 3000% of my daily sodium, and i need it now! if it makes me fat, that's the risk i assume by eating there. i'm sick of this whole trend of "fast food made me fat." no, you did that by being a fucking pig and eating like shit. shutup, you cant get laid cuz you eat 4 big macs a day. and your mother doesnt love you, but that's another story. here, i actually give jared the subway guy some credit. he was fat, saw what he needed to do, and did it (though whether he really had as strict a subway diet as he claims is up for debate). of course, that still doesnt change the fact that he's really, really ugly. and annoying.

sometimes, there are just situations in which some people are not made to perform certain actions. such is the case concerning retards and the food service industry. how hard is it to take my money, and bag some food that's been under a heat lamp for half an hour? i would argue not too difficult. i'd say that these people belonged somewhere else, somewhere like the special olympics. but that too would be inaccurate, as the special olympics is really for talented retards, which these people clearly were not. but finally, i have my food, albeit food that is undoubtedly laced with a lot of durrrrrrrrr.