tgim

i fucking hate weekends. i have 3 day weekends this semester which i thought would be pretty sweet. but it's really only enjoyable when i have things to do or people to visit. at least during the week i go to class. on weekends i sit around thinking about how much i miss dominique, how much i miss my friends, how much i miss my family, how much i absolutely hate this place. maybe it's the winter. i fucking hate winter, it's so goddamn depressing. everything's dead yeah, but that's not really the problem. how am i supposed to enjoy being outside when it's 2 degrees out? it sucks.

and dont give me that "well there's only 3 months left until you graduate" bullshit either. besides being grammatically incorrect, i'm just so fucking sick of people telling me that.

the result is that this whole situation leaves me doing 2 things: 1) my work, which i suppose is good, but i'm really not interested in a lot of it, and 2) waiting for the week to begin. at least by going to class i have distractions, and i might even learn something i find interesting.

it's funny because i probably wouldnt even be bitching about weekends if i had just one of the following here: dominique, friends, family, an interest in school still, a job i liked, warmer weather. but right at this moment today, it seems as though all my stars are aligned, albeit backwards.

the friend issue seems the most contradictory to me, because i do in fact have friends here. the problem is they're less friends-i-really-enjoy-being-with and more acquaintences-to-pass-the-time. as a transfer here, i dont have that 1L connection with anyone. i have a somewhat weaker 2L connection with some of the students i transferred in with. my friend dynamic is such that i have many random friends in many random groups, each serving a purpose, almost like a division of labor. i have friends with whom i occasionally go to dinner, i have friends with whom i golf, i have friends with whom i play poker, i have friends with whom i discuss philosophical issues, i have friends with whom i sit and talk in class, i have friends with whom i participate in clubs/societies/volunteering, etc. individually, during these activities it's fine. but on the whole, it's completely unfulfilling. i'm not unreasonable enough to expect to find all those things in a large number of people, but more than this would be nice.

whatever, back to reading so i can get the fuck out of here next weekend.