Confessions of a Litigious Mind

The random, irrelevant musings of a law school graduate.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

the worst 6 minutes of my life

i just experienced the worst 6 minutes of my life. i was innocently eating lunch and watching the price is right. but then it ended. so i'm flipping thru the channels, and i get distracted by an email i got. i looked up, and my tv was on...dun dun dun...mtv. shit. as if mtv wasnt already the worst thing ever, it was some show called "date my mom" and it was an episode where a gay guy is evidently going on dates with other gay guys' moms. one guy told his mother, HIS MOTHER, to ask the guy if he (the other guy) was "the bread or the bun." and he told his mom that if the other guy asks, he is a club sandwich, whatever the fuck that means. this show was just fucking disgusting, and it had nothing to do with the guys being gay. sorry, there's just some stuff you dont tell your mother, unless you're abraham, in which case your mom might have heard it already from your sister anyway. on top of all this, it was made in the typical sleazy, overproduced, hyperrealistic manner which only mtv could accomplish.

once i realized what was going on, i immediately hit the channel up button. hgtv has never looked so sweet...or heterosexual.

12 Comments:

At 2/08/2006 12:21 PM, Blogger dicta said...

instant update: some guy on hgtv just said "when i'm not at the barber shop, i enjoy working with wood."

still not as gay.

 
At 2/08/2006 1:20 PM, Blogger JLee said...

Man, when I saw the title, I thought of some sexual experiences I've had (ba dum bump)hahaha....I HATE that damn show. It is repulsive...almost as repulsive as "Next" (except the one I saw part of where the fat girl trips getting off the bus, then after walking across a long field he immediately says "NEXT"!)

 
At 2/08/2006 1:27 PM, Blogger dominique said...

HA ive seen that next. it was hilarious.. um.. not that ive ever watched 5 or 6 episodes of next in a row or anything.. ummmm, crap.

 
At 2/08/2006 4:42 PM, Blogger sadielady said...

the "abraham" link must be bad; my work's network said "access to this site is restricted pursuan to [our] internet policy." which always makes me curious. i'll have to check it when i get home.

and i think you're making up "date my mom;" that can't be a real show. sheesh, talk about bad tv.

 
At 2/08/2006 5:13 PM, Blogger Holmes said...

Let's face it, MTV is why 9/11 happened. Discuss.

 
At 2/08/2006 6:13 PM, Blogger JLee said...

Dominique, you're off the hook for the simple "train wreck factor" You get so many episodes for that. Ok, so I own Jerry Springers "Too Hot for TV" sue me

 
At 2/08/2006 7:24 PM, Blogger dominique said...

ok, i admit it.. i love television.. i'll watch it even if the most entertaining thing on is "next".. but in my defense.. i only watched that many episodes in a row because i was stuck at a friends house and she refused to let us leave to get brunch.
also, "date my mom" most certainly does exist.. i may or may not have also seen the gay episode in question.. and i might or might not remember the dater asking a mom how many guys her son had been with, to which she replied "5"... and i may or may not have laughed out loud at the dater's side commentary of "oh please, there isnt a gay man alive who's only been with 5!"

.. and maybe ill just go ahead and change my blog and user name to avoid being ostracised from blogspot now

 
At 2/08/2006 8:11 PM, Blogger sadielady said...

that is too funny, dominique. i also watch tv a lot, and bad tv at that, i just never turn on mtv, i guess. i'm just addicted to having the tv on, no matter what i'm doing, the way some people just like to leave the radio on, or have a cd constantly playing. i don't like the quiet in my house; i like the background noise. which means that sometimes i watch really stupid stuff just b/c i happened to flip to the channel, or b/c i was watching something else earlier and a new show came on after, and no matter how ridiculous it is, i will keep watching. here's my absolute worst: i actually watched "want to marry a millionaire" w/ that scuzy sleazy man and the fake blond darla who got married to him on the show, then after the show they hated each other, if you remember that from like 6 years ago or something: i mean, women contestants live on stage wearing a wedding dressed and hoping a man they've never met and don't even get to see the face of during the show, waiting and hoping they get picked, then actually marrying the dude live right after the commercial break? how much more awesome does it get? like a bad car wreck which involves so many people crashing into one another at one time that you just can't help but stare, i could not change the channel that night. (and it was like a 2 hour episode.)

 
At 2/08/2006 9:49 PM, Blogger JLee said...

they suck you in, man!!!

 
At 2/08/2006 11:40 PM, Blogger Holmes said...

I watched modern marvels on the history channel tonight. It was awesome.

 
At 2/09/2006 1:08 AM, Blogger JLee said...

that is a good show...and also "Perfect Crimes" I recorded hours of that the other day. I did get a bit bothered by some photos of decapitated heads though. yuck!

 
At 2/09/2006 10:36 AM, Blogger JLee said...

or should I say "disembodied" heads?

 

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