win-win...win, or alternatively, the golden rule

it is somewhat well documented that i have, on occasion, been a participant in verbal altercations with the likes of dell, cvs, and linksys. my mother has always cautioned me that i might not like it if the situation were reversed and someone was yelling at me. i love my mother very much, but she was wrong.

today at work i spoke with a customer who BITCHED.ME.OUT. and i loved every second of it.

there is nothing wrong with a verbal altercation when someone is upset with someone about something. in fact, it's ok to stand up for yourself. do not get me wrong, i am not advocating random arguments. i think many people, including perhaps my mother, hear the word "argument" and think of an uncontrolled all-out profanity-fest. but there's a huge difference.

there are 2 very important factors to keep in mind when arguing about something:
1) before you start an argument, make sure you are correct
2) do not initiate undeserved personal attacks

the first is obvious. the second should be, but seems to be less understood. i enjoyed the customer yelling at me today. first of all, he was blatantly in the wrong. he was arguing something that was incorrect. there was a witness. the witness was a self-proclaimed "long time friend" of this guy. but the witness' statement blatantly contradicted that of the customer. when i told this to the customer, he told me i was wrong. mind you, the customer was not present when i spoke with the witness. the witness wasn't even impartial, but i listened anyway. the witness' overall opinion was in fact that the customer was right. but the facts and the premises did not logically lead to the conclusion.

so when the customer didn't like what i was telling him, he initiated the personal attacks. he became louder and started swearing at me. now, i'm not one to object to some angry swearing, but in my professional life i claim to dislike it. i advised the customer that if he did not cease cursing, the conversation would have to end. he didn't stop, so i ended it.

of course, he called right back. which is fine. but the swearing continued. i logically explained how i arrived at the conclusion that he was wrong, but he wasn't having it. he didn't respond with logic, but rather personal attacks. it culminated with him calling me a "fucking piece of shit" at which point i simply hung up again and moved on to the next task at hand. the whole ordeal really put a smile on my face.

and during the entire time, i remained perfectly calm and collected. mom would be proud.


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UPDATE: mom was very proud