frustration, curiousity, and intrigue

frustration, curiousity, and intrigue. they all got together in my head and had an orgy. i'm really sick of interviewing. i've already turned down 2 jobs because they werent right. well, one i turned down, and the other i just let fade away into nothingness. do i regret it? sometimes. but not always.

i'm sick of being either under or over qualified for jobs. the former i understand, and the latter wouldn't be so bad if it didn't make employers dismiss me so quickly. no one's willing to sit down with me and listen to my "i understand this job is shit but i want it anyway because i'm willing to work my way up thru your company" monologue. just sit and listen. sit and fucking listen.

as a result, my summer 2007 income has come from playing poker. finally the frustration, curiousity, and intrigue built up enough inside me, and i said 'fuck it' and i let them mingle. their lovechild became this.

i haven't been able to sit down and read a book yet since law school. this makes me sad, because i enjoy reading (or, i used to). but if this is going to be my "job" for now, i might as well work to get better at it. hopefully something else will come along very soon, but i've learned you can't always rely on education.

i don't regret law school at all. i worked hard, i learned a lot, and i grew as a person. i'm sure i'll get something fine eventually, but this is getting ridiculous. i've grown a lot, but my patience is waning, not that i've ever had a ton to begin with. although, poker does teach patience, at least if you want to be good at it. at least i can learn from something i enjoy. and i need all the patience i can get.