oscar the grouch

did you watch all/part/any of the oscars tonight? if so, why? as it stands, it's 747pm here, and sadly, girlfriend is gone. i plan on watching some of the oscars. however, i dont know who/what's nominated, i barely know what its about. all i know is i'm watching solely due to the fact that jon stewart is the host. also, i'd bet that sadielady's probably watching, perched at the edge of her couch in the hopes that they slip a clip of some man-on-man lovin into the show.

choosing jon stewart as host was probably the best move the academy ever made. i would venture to guess that viewing will be up at least 15% from what it otherwise would have been. however, if jon stewart doesnt get enough air time for my liking, i'm switching the channels. plus, there's a new iron chef on the food network at 9, so i got that goin for me.


834 update: i hate when all the winners thank everybody and their mothers. this is not mtv, cut with the shoutouts. oh fuck, dolly parton. time to go double van gogh on myself.

913 update: some of these speakers are a bit long winded for my taste. get on with it, old bitch!

926 update: j-lo looks so terrible. i dont know what i expected. she's always looked terrible. who let her in anyway? i guess the academy is getting a little more liberal with its "no fat bitches" policy.

958 update: jake gyllenhaal just laughed at his own joke, presumably because it was as gay as his character.

1007 update: watching lily tomlin and meryl streep was the last straw. these shitty things in between award presentations need to die, and no one besides jon stewart should be allowed to speak. goddamn oscars. if fox didnt puss out and show bad boys 2 instead of simpsons/family guy, etc, i wouldnt have had to endure these first 2 hours.

1010 update: "the real reward is the process of doing it, and the people you're doing it with" --some old guy with loose skin, and undoubtedly, old balls. his unintended humor was far better than lots of the scripted crap.

1031 update: i see dead people

1103 update: reese witherspoon needs an immodium suppository for her verbal diarrhea

and finally, 1124 update: "crash" bends over "brokeback mountain" and makes brokeback its bitch in the best motion picture category. both parties are happy. brokeback smokes cigarette, goes home.

3.5 hours poorly spent