capital punishment, yes; capitalization, NO

as i'm sure you've noticed, unless you're retarded, i dont capitalize. i was thinking about capitalization this morning, and why we do it. and by we i mean you. so, for a solid answer, i did what any reasonable man would have done--i asked jeeves.

i should have realized my error earlier. jeeves was useless. why did i think i would get an intelligent answer from a goddamned internet butler who cant even clean up my desktop? for shame, jeeves, for shame. maybe the reasonable man isn't as smart as i thought. well, he's clearly not, as reasonableness is just a minimum requirement.

so i did a little more investigating into the origin of capitalization. but all anyone wants to tell me is when or what to capitalize, but not why we capitalize. and ok, people, i get it! germans capitalize all their nouns. god, let it go.

so i've come to a conclusion: capitalization is just another example of a useless, extravagant societal conformity, which makes this rather ironic. let's face it, capitalization is pointless. do you not understand what i mean if i write wednesday instead of Wednesday? if you don't, you're even more retarded than i thought. and dont give me the old respect answer, cuz if you're offended by a lack of capitalization then you have some issues that need to be dealt with asap. the answer that makes the most sense to me is that people capitalize for aesthetic reasons. but, that seems to be a matter of personal preference, and i highly doubt that most people consciously think about that whenever they write something. capitalization is automatic for most people.

i find it kind of funny really. today, the trend seems to be towards efficiency. with wireless internet connections, cell phones, and blackberries, people can be reached anywhere by virtually anyone. think of all the time i save by not running my little finger down to the shift key every time i use a "proper noun." i mean, the time i've saved when talking about catholic priests alone is huge. that's like a full extra hour of fantasizing about your mom.

e.e. cummings knew what was going on!