this post is great...for me to poop on!

last night i had an experience which changed my life--i watched the "best of triumph the insult comic dog" on tv. so clearly, the first thing i did when i woke up this morning (afternoon) was go to amazon and purchase it. keep in mind that it's much better on the actual dvd, but here are some quotes to give you a little taste of the splendor.

[to pregnant star wars fan] "Oh, is this a little Jedi? Your boy's due in two months? That'll be the last time he ever sees female genitalia!"

[to star wars fans] "Um, I've got some spoilers. Who wants to hear a spoiler? Here's a spoiler: You will die alone."

[referring to simon cowell] "I always wondered what would happen if you blow-dried the "Weakest Link" chick and cut off her nuts."

"I think Eminem should relax a little. I mean, my mom's a bitch too, but I don't sing songs about it. "

[from his visit to quebec] "Pardon me, my French is not good. I only speak common phrases like 'I surrender'."

[on hollywood squares, when asked on the show which breed of dog is the heaviest] "That's the Lhasa-Oprah. I'm pretty sure. It's either that or the Roker-Spaniel."