the yogurt nazi

well, it's sunday, and that means grocery shopping. everything was going along fine, great even. i was feeling kind of like wings, but as my last post indicated, i decided to cut myself yesterday, so i thought wings would be a pain in the ass to eat. but giant stepped up big with boneless wings. saweet.

i had already picked up some fruit (strawberries and raspberries) and decided that i wanted some yogurt (mom would be so proud). this is where the shopping got ugly. first of all, i hate that yogurt containers are so small now. they used to be big. now you get about a shot of yogurt, and you're done. and of course, the price has not been reduced proportionally. it all started when all the diet crazes were big a few years ago. hey, instead of making people moderate what they eat, why dont we just give them smaller, unsatisfying portions? great! and last i checked, americans were fatter and uglier than ever. but i digress.

so i'm looking at the yogurt. i like dannon, and i like my fruit on the bottom (i know that sounds really gay, but that's what it's called. there's no other way to describe it. and hey, if it was what you're thinking, i think being the pitcher is way less gay than being the catcher. so shutup reader!). so i'm looking at the shelf to find the kind i want, when it starts,

"oh, you want fruit on the bottom."

"huh?"

"fruit on the bottom. i have this kind here, it's only 50 cents for this" [holds up 4-pack. she was wrong actually, it was 50 cents each, for a total of $2. the kind i was looking at was 69 cents]

"oh, yeah. i like fruit on the bottom."

"well, here, i have a sample of the mixed fruit. you should try it. now i dont have the mixed fruit on the shelves, because i ran out. every time i take a flavor out here, it sells out! i'm getting more from the warehouse this afternoon."

"umm, ok. i guess i'll try it. [i try it. average at best.] oh, this is good!"

"well here, let me get you some right here on the shelf. we have...blueberry and prune. [gross.] look at how few there are. this is all we have! i sold out the rest."

"that's ok, i can get it. thanks. have a nice day."


with that, i picked up a 4-pack of the blueberry, to avoid further hassle. i then remembered that i forgot to get fajita wraps, so i doubled back to the mexican section. out of fajita wraps, great. so i calmly place the gross blueberry yogurt on the shelf, and casually walk away.

lesson of the day: if you try to force me to buy your food, i will take it, then leave it to spoil somewhere else in your store. cleanup in isle 9!