headlines

a look at some non-newsworthy stories that made the news anyway

1) junk food lawsuits: because humans are incapable of making their own choices, much less resisting enticing advertisements. the other day i was eating dinner and i saw a tampax commercial and what do you know, i went right and bought some. when i got home, my tacos were cold. but god those were some good tampons.

2) indiana: i find 2 points of interest in this article. first, i find it funny that whether or not indiana should change their clocks for daylight savings time has been "a highly emotional and divisive issue among residents." second, is this: "Gov. Mitch Daniels pushed extensively for the law calling on all counties to follow daylight-saving time, saying it would eliminate confusion and boost commerce." yes, cuz if there's anything less confusing than NOT changing your clocks, it's probably remembering which day to change them and in which direction they need to be changed.

3) there's nothing really special about this one, except when i first glanced at the headline quickly i thought it said "dutch oven" and not "dutch open."

4) to me, theives seem like a perfect pick to be the next american idol. i mean, shows like this have already stolen what may have been remaining of america's soul anyway. plus, think of the marketing if they win. they can produce prison albums, and they wont even have to pay stand-ins for the pictures. and you know the songs about rape will be true. i'm so sick of manufactured pop songs with no meaning.

5) oh, kansas. apparently your intelligent designer isnt intelligent enough to prevent your 11 yr olds from committing aggravated robbery. and i commend you kansas, on standing firm and promoting morals. i mean, a $300 fine and 20hrs of community service seems appropriate. more than that would probably actually teach him a lesson. it's not like he did something awful, like skipping church or voting democrat.