i just shot an 81. feel free to call me god.

even god cant hit a 1-iron...which is why i hit the 2. and i also broke out the driver today. it would prove to be a good decision. it was a crisp 45 degrees out today. i woke up cuz my dog was nosing my arm, and my dad was standing in my room. he asked me if i wanted to golf today. at first i was confused, but the snow melted due to the rain the other day, and the last couple of days have been precipitation free. well, i was going to do some of the 399420395 pages of reading i have for VITA (emphasis on VOLUNTEER, christ), but this sounds much better.

i hadnt played in a month and a half, and it showed as i started the day with a double bogey. but then i turned it around. i parred 6 holes on the front, including holes 5-9. i started the back even worse, with 2 double bogeys. but, i birdied the last 3 holes to shoot a 40 on the back. god [dicta] i'm awesome.

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in other news, i was coming home from a friend's house last night, and i saw a deer in the street. well, as anyone who lives around deer knows, where there's one, there are more. so naturally, i stopped, and the second deer walked by. then, as i'm about to start moving again, BAM, my car shakes. the third fucker ran right into the side of my stopped car, face first. i didnt get out to check on him cuz quite frankly, i dont give a shit. deer are ugly, tick-ridden, disease-infested, overpopulated garden grazers. in retrospect, i probably should have stopped, if only to get out and punch him in the face. some of his fur got caught under my rear passenger side doorhandle, and i am leaving it there as a message to other deer: fuck with me and you will not only be ugly, but also bald.

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i'm going to the casino with my family tomorrow night. i play roulette. got any lucky numbers? but be advised: if i play your number(s) and lose money, i will punch you in the face.