i got a job for you...RIGHT HERE

so i'm still applying to jobs. it pretty much sucks, but that's life (well that, cooking, poker, and golf).

i got a call the other day from a bank. the woman was calling me about a specific job i had applied for. naturally, i was not qualified for this job. apparently it requires knowledge of several computer programs with which i am in no way familiar. i told the woman that i was perfectly willing (and able based on my qualifications) to learn said programs, to which she said she was sorry but was afraid i'm not qualified. which is technically true, though i'm not sure they're really thinking efficiently. when she called, the woman let it slip that they've been trying to fill this position for the past 6 months. well fuck, i can learn that shit in way fewer than 6, and if they're calling people like me then it sure doesn't seem like they'll fill that position anytime soon.

still, my favorite part of the brief conversation was towards the beginning. the woman told me who she was and that she was from the bank, and i asked which specific job it was for because i had applied to several. that's when she said it. "uhhhh, yeah...i, um, notice you applied to 38 jobs with us yesterday...umm....."

that's right bitches, i apply to 38 jobs/day! probably closer to 41 or 42 if you count applications with other companies. hardcore. that's how i roll!

i also got a call from an insurance company who wants to interview me for a claims adjuster position. i actually think this could be a good fit for me. i generally dislike other people, so it might be fun telling them how much damage they did to their car when they thought they could talk on their cell phone and deep throat their morning banana all while they attempt a rush hour lane change. people usually rubberneck at accidents, and i'd get to hang around. i'm sure when people saw me they would be in awe of my sheer handsomeness, which would lead them to lose attention, rear end the car in front of them, and give my employer company even more business. it's beautiful when something comes full circle like that. i just might accept the offer to interview.